


you said i turned out fine (i think i'm still turning out)

by indigoshuoyues



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, CT-7567 | Rex Needs a Hug, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Light Angst, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi is a Mess, Oops, Pining, Slow Burn, Slow To Update, endgame rexsoka, except to boba, is that too many aus for ya, jango fett is a terrible father, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:33:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 26,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23879980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indigoshuoyues/pseuds/indigoshuoyues
Summary: In the wake of his father's unceremonious passing, Rex is left to care for his younger brothers, keep up his record as a star student and the captain of the football team, and continually deny the fact that he is hopelessly in love with his best friend. At least the absolute hell that is junior year is over, and it'll all be over in few months as he finishes up high school, so it shouldn't be that hard....right?Easier said than done.or,the high school AU that literally no one asked for.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Barriss Offee & Ahsoka Tano, CT-21-0408 | Echo & CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555, CT-21-0408 | Echo & CT-7567 | Rex, CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555 & CT-7567 | Rex, CT-7567 | Rex/Ahsoka Tano, Kaeden Larte & Ahsoka Tano, Lux Bonteri & Ahsoka Tano, Lux Bonteri/Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Satine Kryze, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 158
Kudos: 345





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> my first shot at an au- please leave feedback! any type of feedback is appreciated :))
> 
> title from Turning Out by AJR.
> 
> tbh i prefer queerplatonic rexsoka but that won’t get any attention and i’m a whore so here we go

The first time they’d met, they were 4.

Little Rex Fett was hiding behind his father, because there were  _ new people _ and that was important because they were on the top floor of their apartment building, and the two penthouse apartments on their floor were big and luxurious and  _ expensive _ and they’d never had neighbors before.

Until now, apparently.

His father had invited the strangers in,  _ “hospitality”,  _ he had said, and that’s when Rex noticed the two children who were trailing behind the Man With An Almost Beard. One of them was a big kid, he was much taller and bigger and he looked a lot smarter than Rex, and the other was a little girl who seemed to be around his age, with ruddy cheeks and warm orangey tan skin and brown black hair and big blue eyes who didn’t look much like the other two new people. A friend, maybe? He didn’t have any of those, not yet— just his  _ annoying _ little brothers.

“I’m Ahsoka!” the girl had boldly proclaimed, sticking out her hand, “And you’re going to be my friend!”

Rex didn’t know how to respond, so instead he meekly took her hand. She shook it roughly, and he winced a little bit. Noticing this, the older boy decided to speak.

“Hey, be gentle Snips,” the boy said softly, “Don’t wanna hurt him.” He looked over at Rex, and smiled ever so slightly, “I’m Anakin, Ahsoka’s big brother. Well, really, I’m the middle child, because the guy with an ugly beard who’s talking to your dad is our big brother Obi-Wan. It’s nice to meet you, Rex.”

“Thanks,” he’d said, “Wanna go play?”

* * *

When they were 8, in third grade, and they were playing basketball at recess, one of the boys had pushed Ahsoka, and she’d scraped her knees on the concrete. She’d stuck out her bottom lip, crossed her arms, and flared at them.

“What are you gonna do? Cry like a girl? Girls shouldn’t play basketball, you know. You’re too weak!” the bully had jeered, and the other boys were snickering and whispering, and she’d raised her first, ready to hit him (Obi-Wan had put her and Anakin in  _ several  _ martial arts classes, said it taught discipline and whatever. She just liked hitting things.), but was pulled back by Rex.

“Well, I think that’s total crap!” Rex had proclaimed loudly, “I think girls are strong enough! ‘Soka’s probably stronger than me! You’re just a jerk,” he’s said accusingly, pointing a stubby finger at the boy. “Come on, ‘Soka, let’s leave these bullies alone,” he’d said, grabbing her wrists and dragging her along to the other side of the playground before she got them both in trouble. Again.

* * *

When they were 13, in 8th grade, and in their athletics class because middle school is dumb and made all of the sports team share the same period, Rex had retreated into a corner of the athletics hall, by the door, and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Hey there Rexter. You ok?” Ahsoka had found him, sitting next to him, placing a comforting hand in his shoulder.

“I… I can’t do this. Play football, I mean. I know that I’m supposed to be the best, and I  _ am  _ the best, but…”

Ahsoka had nodded in understanding, rubbing his shoulder a little bit. Rex had always hated football, but his father had been forcing him to play since the day he could run. Jango Fett was a football star, the kind with groupies and fanboys and a sportswear line.

And he hadn’t been a good father lately. Always working Rex to the bone, yelling when he  _ wasn’t fast enough  _ or  _ wasn’t strong enough  _ or  _ showed hesitation  _ or some other stupid reason like that.

She was glad Anakin and Obi-Wan weren’t like that.

“I know, Rex. I know. It’s ok. You’ll be ok. I promise. And when you’re not…” she drew a deep breath and smiled, “You can always lean on me.”

* * *

When they were 14, they were freshmen in high school. Not just any high school, but the prestigious Corusca Academy, a school for the children of celebrities and politicians, for the greatest prodigies and the most impressive geniuses. Anakin and Obi-Wan had insisted on Ahsoka’s attendance— both of them had. (And both of them had been the valedictorians of their respective years. Go figure. Her brothers were both so  _ perfect— _ they’d both been on the debate team, both were captains of it, and Obi-Wan had been a star tennis player and Anakin was the captain and mvp of the football team and he had set  _ so many _ track records)

“Why is this school so damn  _ big? _ ” Ahsoka griped, shoulders sulking.

Rex snorted, “Everything must be  _ massive  _ to you, shortie.”

“I’m  _ not that short _ ,” she grumbled, “I’m 5’4. And still growing. And you’re just tall. Not everyone’s 5’10 at fourteen years old.”

He chuckled and rolled his eyes, “Whatever you say, littl’un.”

That was met with an indignant “Hey! I’m not little!” from Ahsoka, which had him  _ melting _ because  _ shit she was cute. _

And he had the little idea that he might just  _ love _ her.

_ ‘As a sister,’  _ he told himself,  _ ‘I love her as a sister.’ _

* * *

When they were 15 and sophomores, and Rex had been made the captain of the football team following the graduation of the previous captain, just like how both he Ahsoka was now the captain of debate team, and both of them were  _ excelling  _ in track, trying to live up to Anakin’s legacy— Ahsoka, because Anakin was her brother and idol, and Rex, because Anakin had been his mentor— a better teacher than Jango, that’s for sure.

Ahsoka had made herself at home on a couch in the Fetts’ penthouse, Echo and Fives (Jango had a penchant for weird names), Rex’s twin little brothers who were just a year younger than them had let her in. It was unusual— usually Rex would be there but it wasn’t unwelcome.

“Dad’s still… talking to him,” Echo has said, a bit uneasily, “Rex’ll be out in a few minutes.”

Ahsoka had nodded slowly, “Mmm, where Boba?” She hadn’t seen the youngest Fett brother anywhere.

Fives shrugged. “With his little kiddie friends doing whatever they do, I guess. Who cares, really?”

“Fives!” Echo admonished.

“What?”

“I care! He’s our baby brother, what if he gets hurt?”

Ahsoka couldn’t help but roll her eyes as the twins descended into bickering again. It was endearing, really— she’d come to view them as brothers. She sighed, because she was bored and Anakin wasn’t home, he was staying over at Padmé’s, who he’d met in Ashla University’s Pre-Law program— they’d had similar aspirations, it seemed, because they both wanted to go into law and had really hit it off from there. Ashla was an ultra-prestigious school, where Obi-Wan had gotten his law degree at, where Anakin was going to get his, and where Ahsoka hoped to get hers. Obi-Wan wasn’t home either, he was working late at the firm, meaning she’d be home alone for the next few hours if she hadn’t decided to run across the hallway to the Fett household.

She was broken out of her reverie when she heard a loud  _ smack _ , proceeded by Jango walking out of Rex’s door, lips curled into a vicious snarl, which softened when he saw her— “Oh, hello Ahsoka,” he said with a polite smile and nod— and left.

She’d frowned and stood up, heading towards Rex’s room, peering in to find him sitting on his bed, elbows on his knees, face in his hands.

“Hey there, Rexter,” she said softly, “Can I come in?”

He mumbled something that sounded like “ _ mmmhmm _ ,” but she couldn’t really tell. She decided to let herself anyway, walking in and sitting down next to him. 

“Hey,” she slung an arm behind his back, rubbing comforting circles, “What’s wrong?”

He looked up at her, eyes bleary. His cheek was angry and red, the imprint of a hand on it—

“ _ Fucking hells _ , Rex,” she gasp, bring her hand up to his cheek, gently prodding at the mark with her fingers. 

He hissed at this contact. “S’a bit sensitive.”

She cast her eyes downward. “Sorry.” She’d meant it— she knew that Jango had exacting expectations, and that he was especially harsh on Rex, since Rex was the oldest and meant to be the one to carry on his legacy, but she’d never thought he’d be  _ this _ bad. 

“Please don’t tell anyone, ‘Soka,” he mumbled, face buried in her shoulder, “Don’t want anyone else to know. ‘Cept you.”

“Rex—“ he brought a finger to her lips, as if shushing her.

“Please.”

She sighed. “Ok. But… if it ever gets too bad, just… I’m always here. ‘Kay?”

He simply nodded in agreement, a small flutter in his chest.

* * *

When they were 16, Ahsoka had gotten herself a  _ boyfriend _ . Fucking  _ Lux Bonteri _ , a twiggy pretty boy, the son of a senator. He wasn’t particularly bright, but Rex supposed that looks and influence could get you pretty far.

On a nice, breezy Friday in October, he’d caught up with her in the school hallway in between classes. “Hey,” he said, eyes glancing furtively at the hallway clock, “Can I tell you something? Later, though, it’s kinda important.”

She looked at him, smiled, and nodded. (They’d both grown, him no longer having to tilt his head quite as much to meet her eyes. Rex had plateaued at a respectable 6 foot and Ahsoka was at 5’7– and still had a few inches to grow, according to her doctor.) “Later,” she agreed, and they both headed off to their respective classes.

At the end of the day, “later” had arrived. She waited for him just outside the school library, where she always did after school so they could walk home together.

“I have something I need to tell you!” bursted from both of their lips. 

Rex raised an eyebrow, “Oh? You first.”

“Guess what, Rex— you wouldn’t  _ believe  _ it, Lux Bonteri asked me out for a movie tomorrow? Can you imagine?  _ The _ Lux Bonteri— his family is like,  _ super _ important and he’s also  _ so  _ cute and this is going to be my first date and—“ she gushed.

It took a few seconds to process what she had just said and  _ oh _ . She had a date with a guy who was obviously interested in her, and more importantly, a guy that she was obviously interested in.  _ And it wasn’t him _ . The realization weighed heavy on his chest, despite knowing that he never really had a chance anyway. “Woah,” he said, hands up, “Slow your roll.”

She looked at him for a second. “—oh yeah. What were you gonna tell me?”

He sighed. “Nothing. Doesn’t matter anymore.”

The next day, both of them were in Ahsoka’s room because of her anxiety for the upcoming date. Her makeup was done how it was done every day since her 14th birthday, when Obi-Wan decided that she was mature enough to wear makeup, winged white eyeliner (which often drew attention from onlookers) and dark purple-brown lips.

“I still think he’s an idiot,” he grumbled, sitting on Ahsoka’s bed, eyes not leaving his phone.

“I  _ don’t care  _ what you think, put your phone down and help me choose an outfit!” she huffed.

Rex snorted and set his phone down on her nightstand, clasping his hands and and setting his elbows on his knees. “You’re going to see a  _ movie.  _ It's really not that deep.”

“Yes it is!” she huffed, “This is the first date I’ve  _ ever  _ been on.”

“Alright, alright, whatever you say,” he rolled his eyes, “But why me? Why not Obi-Wan or Anakin? It’s a weekend, they’re not busy. Plus, Obi-Wan is much better at this than I am.”

“ _ Rexter _ ,” she whined, “You  _ know _ them. Obi-Wan would just stroke his  _ stupid fucking beard _ disapprovingly and try to talk me out of it and Anakin would probably demand to meet Lux and  _ kill him. _ ” With that, she disappeared back into her closet.

_ ‘That wouldn’t be such a bad thing.’  _ The traitorous thought had chirped from some dark corner of his mind and he pushed it away quickly.

Ahsoka had re-emerged from the closet, opting for a maroon sweater dress and white leggings. “Well, how do I look?”

He gulped. “Good— yeah, good, I guess. You look good.”

She’d twirled around, “Thank you, Rex,” rolling her eyes, “For your  _ insightful _ feedback.”

“Well,” he said shortly, standing up to his full height (still taller than her, but only by two inches—he stood at 6 foot now, with her at 5’10), “I should probably go. Lux’ll be here to pick you up in 10, right? Wouldn’t wanna keep him waiting.” 

And he left, and eyes downcast because Ahsoka was pretty and smart and amazing and talented and  _ not his. _

* * *

That summer, Jango had died. Freak car accident, the police had said— not like that mattered. Since their mother had died giving birth to Boba, it was now up to Sabé, their live-in maid— no,  _ legal custodian _ to take care of them. 

The news outlets had mourned his death, saying that Jango was  _ a legend  _ and  _ taken too soon  _ because he was  _ only 43.  _ The press were after the brothers, trying to ask them for comments and they’d barricaded themselves in their apartment.

Ahsoka had caught up with Rex after the funeral, as he sat slumped on a sofa. 

“I guess I know what it feels like now,” he said, “To be an orphan.”

Ahsoka shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. I have Anakin and Obi-Wan. Just… lean on your brothers, ok? ‘swhat I do, anyway. Don’t need parents if I have them. How are you feeling?”

“I don’t know, really,” he pinches the bridge of his nose, “I think Boba’s the most torn up about it, really— he’s just… so  _ angry  _ at the world. He was so happy before, but...” Rex sighed. “I don’t really know how to feel. He was for the most part, a good dad… until he decided that I was old enough to take a beating like a man, I guess.”

She sighed and grabbed his hand, holding it in both of hers, “I… I don’t know what to say,” she paused, “I don’t know if there  _ is  _ anything I could say.

He shook his head, “It’s fine. It’s not like I have to deal with this for that much longer. Soon as I finish senior year, I’m out of here.”

She pursed her lips, nodding in understanding. “You know… I’m right across the hall. Just holler if you need me.”   
  
He could only nod as he watched her leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTEXT: Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ahsoka were adopted by hotshot lawyer Qui-Gon Jinn who dies... which will be explained eventually. There's too many memories in their old house, so they move into the condo that Qui-Gon left Obi-Wan, the one he lived in during his youth. Obi-Wan and Anakin choose to follow in Anakin's footsteps. Rex, Fives, Echo, and Boba were raised by famous football (american) player Jango Fett in the other penthouse on that floor.
> 
> i didn't want to do my online school assignments so i wrote this instead.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the first day of school. Ahsoka tries to make a new friend and Rex does some self-reflection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooOOHHH BOY
> 
> the first half of this chapter is kinda just fluff and filler so i'm sorryyyyyy :((((
> 
> bear with me the second half is better!!

Ahsoka woke to the sound of _very_ loud rock music.

“Wakey wakey, Snips!”

Anakin stood over her with a shit-eating-grin, portable speaker in hand. “Get ready, I’m taking you and the boys to school.”  
  
She groaned, “Why can’t Obi-Wan take us? And don’t you have school too? And what about Boba?”  
  
“Obi-Wan had to go to work early, Mace is working overtime on a case and he needed his help,” he shrugged nonchalantly, voice laced with amusement, “Plus, I’m a grad student now, my classes don’t start until next week. Plus, Sabé’s taking Boba to his school.”

She got out of bed with a huff, “Fine. But please don’t kill us.”

A few moments later, they piled into Anakin’s Eta-2 Actis, a sleek gunmetal car with yellow stripes, which was _heavily_ modified. Anakin was a bit of a car freak… and an _extremely_ dangerous driver.

“This thing is a deathtrap,” she grumbled, arms crossed as she sat shotgun. Rex and the twins sat in the back, Rex pressed between Fives and Echo- the twins had apparently been arguing about something stupid.

Anakin shrugged, “Relax, Snips. It’ll be fine.” He started the ignition, and they were off.

The ride soon devolved into chaos. “Is this even legal?!” Ahsoka exclaimed as the car was jostled and Rex almost went flying _again._ Fives was miraculously asleep, and Echo was clutching a book for dear life.

Anakin looked offended. “Hey! I’m a full-fledged law student now! I think I’d know a little something about the law… I’m _pretty sure_ I’m not breaking any traffic laws right now.

“ _PRETTY SURE?!_ “

* * *

Eventually, they pulled up at the school’s car loop, all of them dazed, except for Anakin, apparently.

Fives and Echo had _ran_ as soon as they arrived.

“I hate you!” Ahsoka called as she walked away from the car.

Anakin rolled down the tinted windows, “Have a great day, pookums!”

Her head whipped around. She scowled and flipped him off.

She could hear him cackling as he drove off.

Rex snorted, “You know, I don’t think Obi-Wan would approve of you telling Anakin that you hate him.”

Ahsoka shrugged, “Well Obi-Wan’s not here, is he? Plus, it’s not like Anakin doesn’t ever annoy him.”

“Fair enough,” he put a hand on her shoulder, “Imma go catch up with the football boys before class.”

She nodded and watched him leave, let alone and wondering what to do— “Ahsoka! Over here!” Lux called out to her. She perked up and started in his direction.

“What do you have first period?” Lux asked as she reached him and his friends.

“AP Stats, with Mr. Yularen. You?”

He deflated, “Ah, forgot how smart you are. Isn’t that the last math class you had available? I have AP Bio first.”  
  
She shrugged, “I guess. The only reason why I finished BC Calc last year was Obi-Wan’s insistence that I do it— it wasn’t that hard, though. I can help you with AB, if you want?”

He grinned, “That’d be great! You know how bad I am at math.”

* * *

Later, Ahsoka sat in her second period, AP Macroeconomics with Prof. Sinube, she waited for the rest of the classroom to fill in, seeing as to how early she was. 

Rex slid into the seat next to hers with his usual lopsided grin, “Hey there, you.”

She smiled back at him, and Kaeden slid into the seat on her other side, “How are y’all doing?”  
  
She hadn’t known Kaeden for nearly as long as Rex, but Ahsoka still felt at ease around her. After her other closest girl friend, Barriss, had graduated two years ago (Barriss had been a senior when she was a sophomore), she was left without any friends to have “girl talk” with— until Barriss encouraged her to reach out more. Kaeden once had a massive crush on her, which eventually bloomed into a close friendship. (Ahsoka had turned her down mercifully, and the other girl had taken it in stride, both of them remaining good friends.)

Eventually, the rest of the students poured in— including another girl, one that none of the three had ever met.

Ahsoka leaned over to Rex, “She must be new. Wanna show her around during lunch?”  
  
He nodded, bringing a finger to his lips, as the class was about to begin.

* * *

Eventually (or an hour and a half later), lunch rolled around, and the three gathered at a table— Lux had tried to wave her over, he was sitting with two people she didn’t recognize. Siblings, probably— one, an intimidating boy with an unfortunate goatee, the other a wiry girl with a mass of fluffy dreads hidden under a bandana. She opted to sit with Kaeden, Rex, and the twins, instead.

Kaeden pointed in the direction of the new girl, who was sitting alone, “She looks lonely.”

Ahsoka nodded, “I’m gonna invite her over.” She stood and walked to the table where the girl was eating, alone, stuck out a hand, “Hey there. I’m Ahsoka Tano-Jinn. You?”

The girl looked up, “Trace.”

“Well then Trace, wanna come sit with my friends? You seem lonely.”

Trace sighed, “I’m a scholarship kid. I don’t… I don’t fit in with all you rich kids.”

“It’s fine! My friend Kaeden, over there, she’s on scholarship too!” Ahsoka smiled, beckoning to her table, “Come on!”

Trace begrudgingly followed as Ahsoka led her to the table, sliding onto the bench, next to Ahsoka. 

“This is Kaeden, and this is Rex!” Ahsoka beamed, pointing around her friends as she introduced them.

The quartet spent the rest of the lunch block with amiable, if not awkward chatter— it could’ve gone worse. Much worse.

* * *

After school, Rex headed to a football practice— they were going to have to start conditioning to toughen up for the season. They’d had a few practices over the summer, but still— it’s not like any of them actually worked out outside of that.

He definitely wasn’t prepared for the new coach.

“Where’s Coach Vos?” The new coach was a tall, burly man, with bronzed skin and a bald head.

“Coach Vos left because of some family issues that came up over the summer,” the new coach said (snarled), “I am his replacement, Coach Krell. You are the captain, Rex Fett, yes?” Rex nodded, “Good. You will tell the rest of the team that I do not tolerate the same lack of discipline that Vos did. You will inform them to only address me as ‘sir’. Is that clear, Fett.”

“...yes, sir.”

The next hour and a half were absolute HELL. Krell has seen it fit to run suicides across the field as a “warm up”, then sprint ladders, followed with a mile run as a cool down, not to mention that annoying blond douche, Something Kallus, sucking up to Krell. To make matters worse, the showers weren’t working so he had to leave the building in his gear. Echo had already gone home, there was no AcaDec practice on the first day. So had Fives— theater didn’t do anything at the beginning of the school year. He found Ahsoka waiting for them outside the locker room doors.

She looked up from her phone, “You sure took forever— gross, you smell,” she scrunched her nose and looked at them with mock disdain, “How was your practice?

“Awful,” Rex grumbled. “The new coach sucks— Krell? He’s got the team on a fucking shakedown and our conditioning was awful. He’s giving me even _more_ reasons to quit football. Plus, What’s-his-face Kallus, that junior, he’s obviously gunning for the captain spot next year— seriously, he’s even more annoying than before. The cherry on top of the shit cake would be the fact that the showers are _broken_ .”

Ahsoka nodded, “Damn, that’s rough. If it makes you feel better, that new girl we saw with Lux— Steela, she’s a junior— she has it out for me for some reason. We had a bunch of impromptu debate sessions to test the newbies, and she did whatever she could to make sure that she was going against me— what’s her deal?”

He cocked an eyebrow, “Any good newbies?”

“Yeah, there’s this freshman, Caleb Dume, I think. He’s good, he’ll probably make Varsity when they start dividing the team.”

Rex nodded, “We should go. We still need to catch the subway.”

* * *

Later, packed in a subway car with a bunch of commuters heading home from work, both of them awkwardly standing in the center, an old lady smiled warmly at them, “You two are such a precious couple.”

Rex flushed, more than he thought possible, _‘I wish’,_ as Ahsoka sputtered out a “oh- oh no, we’re not together. We’re just neighbors and friends.

The old lady’s eyes had a knowing look, “Is that so? Hmm.” The subway pulled to a stop, their stop. Rex tossed Ahsoka a look, receiving a nod in return, and the two exited the car. There was a nice breeze, and they walked side by side in companionable silence.

“Sooo…” Ahsoka said in an attempt to break the silence, “That was weird.” Rex hummed in agreement and nodded. “We’ve known each other since… forever. It’d be really weird if we were together, we’re kinda like siblings, right?”  
  
_Ouch._ He gulped, “Yeah… weird.”  
  
She nodded, not noticing his brief hesitation, “You know, I can’t wait till track season. I heard that the new girl’s coach, Secura, I think, is really good. Apparently she was a big deal in her day.”

They reached their building, a tall, elegant building, a first floor and lobby of black marble, and made their way to the elevators, heading to the top floor— their floor.

“Yikes, I really need a shower,” Rex chuckled, “Smells like shit.”  
  
Ahsoka raised an eyebrow, “Ya think?”

The two reached their respective doors, waving goodbye and disappearing into the condos.

Ahsoka made her way in and found Anakin draped on the couch, a bowl of tortilla chips carefully balanced on his chest— _how_?

Obi-Wan materialized behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder, “Best not to wake him. He was up video calling with Padmé all night. He’s quite tired.”  
  
Ahsoka turned to face him, “And what about you?” Obi-Wan had done so much for his siblings, having to raise them from when he was 25 and in the middle of finishing up his Juris Doctorate. The years had taken a toll on him, weathering his face and giving him a fair amount of grey hairs.

He waved off the question, “I’m… normal. Not quite fine, but close enough. You can go head to your room, if you’d like. I’m ordering food tonight, I have a fair amount of work to do and no time to cook.”  
  
She nodded, heading off to her room, closing the door behind her. She pulled her laptop out of her backpack and plugged it in, opening it and logging in. She clicked on the video chat icon, and waited a few moments.

Barriss’ face appeared on her screen a few moments later, her freckles face lit up with a happy expression, “Ahsoka! It’s good to see you.”  
  
“You too, Barriss. How’s your junior year of college?” Barriss’ semester had started two weeks earlier, the older girl had opted to study at UMirial, which was farther away from Coruscant. She was currently working on her Pre-Med degree, hoping to become a doctor.

“Oh, you know,” the older girl said, “It’s stressful, but that’s not anything new. How was the first day of your senior year?’

Ahsoka shrugged, “It’s… well… it’s been an uneventful day. Not much happened, I guess. I think I’ve made a new friend, though. Not sure.”

“Oh? Tell me more!” Barriss said excitedly, “I’m glad that you’re making new friends. It’s always nice to have a small group of closely-knitted friends, but it doesn’t hurt to have a network.”

“I’m… not so sure if she actually likes me. She seems pretty resentful of everyone at Corusca, thinks we’re all privileged snobs.”  
  
Barriss snorted, “She’s not all wrong. A lot of people at Corusca _are_ privileged snobs. That aside, did anything else happen? Anything interesting?”  
  
“Well…” Ahsoka faltered for a second, “An old lady on the subway thought Rex and I were together, when we are _so obviously not_ .”  
  
Barriss raised an eyebrow at this, “So you’re still with Lux, then.”

“And?”  
  
“Ahsoka, he’s not good for you,” the older girl sighed, “You two just don’t… fit together. He’s so needy and always needs your attention, and you’re so independent.”  
  
Ahsoka sighed too, frustrated, “Why does every say that?”  
  
“Because it’s true. Anyway, I need to go— I have a project due in a few days and I need to meet with my group. Bye!” Barriss’ face flickered out of the screen, leaving Ahsoka alone.

She sighed and flopped on her bed, picking up her phone and scrolling through her social media.

* * *

Obi-Wan had taken him to a therapist, once, after everything that happened with Him.

He didn’t want to think of Jango as his father, as anyone.

He never went back, never wanted to actually open up, never wanted to make it seem like he was using Ahsoka’s family.

Even though he never went back, he still employed some tactics the therapist— Doctor Gallia, he remembered, had suggested.

Journaling.

He’d thought it was stupid, at first, but when he tried it, he’d found that it actually helped him understand his feelings. His journal laid on his desk, so he sat himself in his desk chair and opened it up, picking up an inky black pen— he never used pencil, pencil could be erased and fade and he would never want to do that, it would feel like he was erasing a part of him, his unfiltered self.

And then he wrote.

_Today was… a day._

_I don’t know anymore. I know it’s stupid, but there’s still so much resentment left in me for Him and I feel like he’s still here, laughing at me. He’s the only reason why I still play, because everyone expects me to because I’m His son and it’s just not fair, you know? Fuck it, this is stupid.I’m just talking to my self, why am I asking questions? Why am I writing this?_

_I don’t know about the new coach. He’s got some deeply rooted issues, that’s for sure. Just giving me another reason to wish I quit, huh? I’m almost tempted to hand off the captaincy to Dickhead Kallus and quit. I can’t anymore. I’m so done. But I can’t do that, because it’ll look bad on my college apps if I quit during senior year. I just need to tough it out._

_Speaking of toughing it out, I need to hurry the fuck up and accept the fact that I’ll never have a chance with her. She’s way out of my league, and she thinks of me as a brother._

_Whatever. I’m too tired to think about this right now. Rex out._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am but a feeble band nerd who knows nothing about football please forgive me  
> i used my experience running track and xc as a reference... so it's probably not representative of the practice that a real american football team does
> 
> yes i am using ship models as car models
> 
> fite me


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m so sorry that this took so long to get out, and that it’s a little shorter than usual— the past week and a half have been really hectic and stressful for me and i’m trying my best lmao

The weekend came quickly.

The first week of school had just been a time for students to dip their toes in the water, to acclimate to the environment once more. It helped lighten the load of stress on Rex’s shoulders.

Little blessings.

His phone, resting on his nightstand, buzzed  _ incessantly _ . Groaning, he sat up in bed, grabbing it and not bothering to check the caller ID, and let out a groggy “Hello?”

_ “Did you just wake up? I expected more discipline from you, of all people.” _

Cody. Of course. He and Wolffe were Rex’s favorite cousins, the only one’s his age.

“Fuck off, man. It’s only eight…”

Then came Cody’s retort,  _ “Eight forty three! It’s practically nine.”  _

He scowled, “Yeah, yeah, why are you calling anyway?”

_ “Wolffe and I are in town for the weekend, just wanted to know if you wanted to hang? Don’t bring the twins, either, just us and Wolffe!” _

Rex bolted out of bed. “Shit, man, that’s great!” He hesitated for a moment, busy fumbling in an attempt to get a shirt on, “...you’re not bringing Fox, right?”

Fox was Cody and Wolffe’s younger brother, and a real prick at that. He and Fives had gotten into a bad fight a few months ago, resulting in Fives being sent to the hospital for stitches and Rex hating Fox with every fiber in his body.  _ No one  _ was allowed to mess with his brothers, even if they were family.

He can practically  _ hear  _ Cody’s grimace from the other end of the line,  _ everyone  _ in their family knew about Fox,  _ “Don’t worry… we’re bringing him to meet up. He’ll probably be off doing his own thing anyway.” _

,“I’ll meet you guys at Dex’s Diner at eleven for brunch… that sound good?”

_ “Of course, bro.” _

Later, when he was fully lucid and his stream of consciousness was no longer a garbled, foggy mess, he grabbed his wallet, shoving it into the pocket of his jeans, “I’m going out to meet up with Cody and Wolffe!”

Sabé has nodded and told him to stay safe, Echo hadn’t heard him, headphones on and nose deep in a book, and Boba just rolled his eyes, and muttered a noncommittal “Whatever.”

Fives, on the other hand…

“Can I come with? Haven’t talked to Codes or Wolffe in a while.”

“No,” Rex intoned drily, “Codes just wants me to go. Sorry.”

Fives gasped dramatically, pressing a palm to his chest and saying “Oh, betrayal!” in the most scandalized voice he could muster. There was a layer of genuine offense in his eyes, but Rex knew Fives would forgive him for this.

Rex simply rolled his eyes and walked off, only turning around to yell “Language!” when Fives him that he ‘sucked balls.’

He hopped on a bus, out in a pair of wireless earbuds and hummed along to the music, while watching the streets go by through the window through dark eyelashes. 

There was so much to be found in simply watching the situation.

He’d always been keenly observant, never missing details like the slight vagaries of the posture of pedestrians and what it said about them, a skill he’d never quite had a use for except for coming up with random backstories for people he’d never know.

Eventually, the bus reached the stop and he slowly made his way to Dex’s from there, too lost in his music to pay any mind to the world around him…

and then he ran into someone.

Said someone was Ahsoka, dressed in a martial arts uniform, dark brown hair pinned into two high space buns. She cocked an eyebrow, a smirk playing at her lips, “Where are you headed to, Rexster?”

_ Of course he’d run into her. Temple Martial Arts was right next to Dex’s and she always practiced on Saturdays. _

He ran his hands through his closely shorn bleach-blonde hair, “Dex’s.”

She grinned, “I was just headed there too, for a post workout milkshake— which I know is unhealthy, before you say anything.”

Rex put his hands up, “Wasn’t gonna say anything. Gonna meet up with Cody and Wolffe, wanna join?”

She grinned, “Yeah, of course— it’s always nice to see them, and I think Master Plo’ll be happy to see Wolffe and Obi-Wan’ll be happy to see Cody.”

Cody and Wolffe had lived in Coruscant for several years, before moving to Mandalore, but they had formed unbreakable bonds— Wolffe, a fervid Teräs Käsi practitioner, had attended Temple Martial Arts and learned under the careful tutelage of Teräs Käsi Master Plo Koon, and Cody had bonded with Obi-Wan over their mutual love of tennis.

Rex smiles in turn, “...then let’s get going?”

Ahsoka nodded, and they made their way to Dex’s, where they were greeted by Dex himself, who pulled them both into a crushing hug— “Heyyy, buddies! Come, sit down! How’s Obi-Wan doing? He okay?”

Rex nodded, trying to extricate himself from Dex’s unintentionally tight grip, “Actually, we’re here for my cousins… they’re identical twins, have you seen them?”

“Of course! They’re in the booth in the back corner, left hand side. I’ll be there with y’all soon.”

The pair of teenagers thanked him, made their way to the corner, where the twins were sitting and on their phones. Wolffe perked you when he noticed Ahsoka at Rex’s side, dressed in a Teräs Käsi uniform— “Hey, little ‘Soka! Training with Master Plo?”

Ahsoka put her hands on her hips and pouted, “I’m not so little anymore. And yeah, I was. You should visit him after this, I’m sure he’d be happy to see you!”

Wolffe nodded, and the new arrivals slid into the booth, picking up menus. True to his word, Dex himself came to take their orders, and they chatted rather animatedly, waiting for their orders.

As Ahsoka raised her burger up to her mouth, Rex cocked an eyebrow. “Thought you said you were only getting a milkshake?”

She snorted, drove an elbow into his side, “Lay off. You’re not the one who’s been working out all morning.” Cody and Wolffe snickered, with Cody shooting him a mockingly inquisitive look. Rex rolled his eyes and response, and Ahsoka was too engrossed in her burger to notice.

Eventually, Ahsoka got a call from Obi-Wan and had to leave, apologizing, “I’m sorry guys, but Anakin’s an idiot and Obi-Wan needs me home to handle this. I’m sorry I had to cut this short but I’ll catch up eith you guys later?”

She left and the boys said they’re goodbye, Cody making sure to yell “Tell Obes I said hi!” before leaning over the table to smirk at Rex as soon as she was out of earshot. “Sooo…”

“So.”

Wolffe chimed in, “Bro, it’s so obvious that you’re in love with her,” shit eating grin plastered on his face.

Rex blanched, “Nah.”

“Homie, you a simp,” Cody chuckled, “And come on, everyone knows you like girls who could kick your ass.”

“Admiiiiiiiiit it,” Wolffe sing-songed, “Rex and Ahsoka sitting in a tree—“

If he hadn’t been so tan, Rex would be redder than a tomato, his face twisted in embarrassment, “I hate you both.”

* * *

Obi-Wan scowled at the charred remains of a steak, drenched in water from the fire sprinklers, “Anakin?”

“Yeah?”

“Please,  _ never  _ touch anything in my kitchen again.”

Ahsoka burst into the condo, following the smell of smoke to the kitchen, “...why’d you call me home? I was having lunch with the boys— Cody and Wolffe are in town. Cody says hi, by the way.”

The eldest brother grimaced, “Anakin set most of our groceries on fire and almost took the kitchen with them. I need you to make a grocery run while your idiot brother and I clean up this mess.”

Anakin pouted, “Hey! I was practicing, I’m trying to impress Padmé! All great chefs have to start somewhere.”

Obi-Wan could only glare.

* * *

Later, when Rex was back in his room, laying on his bed, arms folded and earbuds in, his phone singed and he raised it to see a text.

**Ahsoka:** bruh anakin almost burned down the kitchen lmao

**Rex:** F. How badly did Obi-Wan react

**Ahsoka:** badly… i think anakin fears for his life now

**Rex:** Nice. What’s up, any other reason for texting me? You know I’m right across the hall if you want to talk

**Ahsoka:** no reason. just felt like it :^)

**Rex:** Ok then

**Rex:** Your smileys still terrify me

**Ahsoka:** >:^(

On the other side of the hall, Ahsoka was smiling, phone held to her chest— and realized Rex had made a valid point. Why had she texted him out of the blue? They’d usually just shimmy over to the other’s place or video call, and only ever really texted to send each other pictures.She was broken out of this train of thought when her phone dinged, displaying a text from Lux. 

**Lux:** Can I see u tmw? U know I’m free on sundays 

Ahsoka sighed, Barriss had been right— Lux could be clingy, sometimes to a fault, and she’d always played it off as him being sweet and doting, but recently cracks had been starting to form in their relationship, with Lux’s behavior becoming strangely erratic, and him reacting to her telling him that she needed space more negatively.

She needed to fix it, and fix it fast. No matter how clingy Lux was, she still valued their relationship.

**Ahsoka:** of course :^))

**Ahsoka:** where and when?

**Lux:** What about Maz’s cafe at 1?

**Ahsoka:** it’s a date :^)

* * *

That evening, Rex sat at his desk, opened his journal, grabbed a black pen—

_ Met with Cody and Wolffe today. Didn’t have to see Fox, so that was nice, but I ran into Ahsoka and she joined us. It was nice. The boys won’t leave me alone though, they know. They know how I feel about her, and… I wish I could just wash these feelings away, but I can’t, and I’m tired. I must’ve been a piece of shit in a past life for being worthy of this kind of torment. I was too scared to make my move when Istill had a chance, and this is where it got me. _

_ She texted me earlier, which is weird, because usually she calls or just shows up in my room if she wants to talk, but I’m probably reading too far into this. Cody was right, I am a simp. _

_ That aside, it was a pretty good day. Didn’t need to think about football for once, but that’ll change soon. Still, it’s nice to just… chill. Takes my mind off things. I almost felt normal. _

_ You know (“You”? Pft. No one’s gonna read this anyway), I thought this was a stupid idea when I first started, but it’s helped me a lot. Thanks, Dr. Gallia. _

_ Anyway, I’m tired. Signing off, Rex. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m sorry that everyone is ooc but i’m trying to write them as modern teenagers ;-;
> 
> also i don’t really like the idea of ahsoka being helpless and unable to defend herself like she is in a lot of modern aus (not calling anyone out! just an observation of a common trend), so ofc i had to make her a martial arts badass


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so, so sorry that it took so long for me to update. real life has been stressful lately and there's been a lot going on in my life, and i haven't really had the chance to write. i would like to explain further and give a more valid excuse, but it's three am and i'm tired lol. i'm sorry if this chapter seems really lackluster, i just don't know if i'll have the time to update again soon. ~~also what little time to myself i have had has been spent rewatching ATLA and LoK because i just wanted to relive my formative years. avatar renaissance baybeeeeee~~

What kind of asshole only gets a cup of water at a  café?

Ahsoka sat at the quaint little table, opposite to Lux, tightly clutching a mug of tea (Maz’s served dine-in orders in mugs, bless) in her hands, a forced smile straining at her face. She’d wanted a table on the patio, but Lux wanted to be indoors and exposed to the AC. Typical.

Maz’s Café had just opened— a quaint, little place at a street corner, founded by Maz Kanata, a young, bright woman. She’d found out about this place through Obi-Wan, who happened to know everything that happened in their corner of the city, somehow.

Back to Lux. He was unusually chipper, a night smile on his face, a single curl loose from his over dramatic pompadour that he had apparently neglected to slick back. That was… unsettling. “It’s been a while since we’ve been able to do this. This is quite nice, isn’t it?”

She appreciated the effort, she really did, but he  _ knew  _ that she wasn’t the type of girl who liked dates where people just sat and ate and made small talk. Then again, relationships were about compromise, and she was aware of her own stubbornness and occasional bone-headedness, so maybe compromise wasn’t such a bad thing. “Yeah,” she said, offering a noncommittal shrug, “It’s been a while. This— this is nice. You… gonna order anything?” She gestured towards her mug and the turkey panini that sat on the plate next to it.

He shook his head, an affirmative  _ no  _ , “Maybe just a coffee, before we leave.”

“Suit yourself.” She picked up the panini and tucked in enthusiastically, setting it down after taking a few bites, making sure to chew and swallow. “So why did you want to meet up today?”

“No reason.”

She cocked an eyebrow and leaned forward, “You know, for the son of a politician, you are a terrible liar.” He smiled, put his hands up in mock surrender, “You caught me. Just wanted to have a chance to talk, is all.”

She smiled warmly, leaned over the table, bracing her forearms on the table, “Then let’s talk.”

* * *

It was a good day. 

Sabé had taken them to Galactic Creamery, a nicer ice cream place that was near their building. She and Boba sat in a booth with the twins, while he had opted to sit alone in a barstool at the counter, scrolling through social media on his phone while eating vanilla ice cream (Ahsoka would call him boring for that) out of a waffle cone bowl.

Sabé slid into the stool to his left, “You should talk to Boba.”

He cocked an eyebrow, braced his right arm on the counter, “Why? I thought he was doing fine now.” 

She shook her head. “No. There’s something off about him. I don’t know if he’ll listen to me, but he’ll probably listen to you. Just ask him about it?”

He liked Sabé, he really did— she was like a cool older cousin, or maybe a very young aunt, but sometimes he wished she wasn’t so intuitive. He sighed, shook his head, “Fine. But if he bites my head off, it’s on you.” Standing up from the counter, he plodded off to their booth, standing over them. “Fives. Echo,” he nodded his head towards the counter where Sabé sat. They got the memo, both of them extricating themselves from the booth to head to the counter, ice creams in hand.

He gave them an appreciative look, sitting down on their side of the booth to face the youngest Fett brother. “So.”

Boba rolled his eyes, looked to the side and stared at the floor, “So.”

Rex shifted in his seat, mildly uncomfortable at Boba’s avoidance, “Are you okay? Sabé said that—“

“I’m fine!” Rex was caught off guard by the younger boy’s reaction, “I’m just tired.”

“That’s a lie, and we both know it.” The younger boy looked up at him, and Rex saw the sadness in his dark eyes. “Hey,” he said tentatively, putting a hand on his shoulder, “Talk to me, buddy. You good?”

Boba sniffled, looked away again, having some kind of preconceived notion that men weren’t allowed to be vulnerable (something Rex thought Jango had instilled in him, no doubt), “It’s just… dad always took us here and we haven’t came since he died.”

Rex’s mouth popped open in an  _ O _ , and he rubbed Boba’s shoulder comfortingly, “I know that it’s hard,” he said, not knowing how to comfort his brother for the kids of a man he hadn’t been on particularly good terms on when he died, “But life goes on, and I think… I think he’d want you to be happy.”

Boba shrugged, “I guess. Sometimes I feel like none of us ever… knew dad, not really.”

Rex nodded sagely, “You’re right. Dad was…” he paused, searching for the right word, “Complicated. I think he’d definitely want you to be happy, though.”   


“For what it’s worth,” Boba said, “You should be nicer to yourself. I… I don’t know what was going on between you and dad, but you’ve… changed.”

Rex sighed, “I really don’t wanna talk about it,’ he said, as he leaned over the table and ruffled the younger boy’s hair affectionately— Boba had never known about the beatings or the lectures, and he’d never wanted to tell the younger boy, never wanted to sully the image of the perfect, loving, father that the younger boy had built. “Now,” he gestured towards the half-eaten, nearly entirely melted sundae that Boba had been eating, “How about we get you some more ice cream?”

* * *

She wasn’t getting anywhere with Lux. (At least he got around to ordering that coffee— little blessings.)

She loved him, she really did (or at least she thought he did)— but he enjoyed the sound of his own voice a little too much.

She’d had to listen to him go on and on about some policy his mother was advocating for, and had chosen to tune him out the entire time— she never was one for politics. She wondered what Obi-Wan was planning to make/order for dinner...

“Ahsoka?”

She snapped out of her reverie, eyes blown wide.

“Are you even listening to me?”

She looked away sheepishly, holding a hand up, palm facing him as the other hand rubbed her temple, “Sorry. Politics… just aren’t my thing, you know?”

Lux seemed satisfied with that answer, “That’s okay. We can talk about something else, like— like school! How are your classes going?”

She smiled and snorted softly, “It’s the first week of school, Lux. Classes haven’t gotten stressful yet.”

“Right, right,” he said, picking up his coffee and taking a sip, “...This is nice.”

Raising an eyebrow and adjusting one of the chevroned blue and white scrunchies she was wearing in her hair, “Yeah. Guess so.”

She always carried a degree of concern that maybe she wouldn’t be able to keep Lux’s attention, because she could be so detached and unsentimental at times, but she tried her best to be the ideal girlfriend.   
  
She wasn't always sure if it was worth it, but she did it because she loved him.

(Or so she thought.)

* * *

Later, Sabé, who was fiercely devoted to fashion, dragged the boys out to the mall to have some “fun”, as if drowning oneself in fabric could be considered fun.

He’d wandered off on his own, finding himself in a teen clothing store, while Boba was with Sabé and the twins were at the food court, probably ordering some ungodly combination from one of the restaurants.

He loved his family, he really did— sometimes he just needed time to himself. He’d done his best to be the ideal older brother all day, one that Boba could look up to and rely on.    
  
It was hard. After all, who was looking after him?

It was a stupid line of thinking, he knew that he had Sabé and Anakin and Obi-Wan, but they’d probably just pity him if he bared his heart to them, and pity was the last thing he wanted. He had Ahsoka, too, but it hurt, she was too close yet not close enough. 

Whatever. She didn’t owe him anything.

Wandering around the store aimlessly as he thought. It was interesting, really. He wanted to be vulnerable, but he also wanted to be strong, unflappable. He wanted to be someone, to stand out, but he also wanted to fade into the background. He faintly recalled reading somewhere that the appearance of confidence could make one more confident.

Well, he was at the mall anyway. Might as well be getting on with that.

After wandering deeper into the store, a denim jacket caught his eye— light blue with darker blue stripes running down the sleeves, and, as he picked it up to further inspect it, a white patch with that same blue stripe on the right shoulder.

It fit him well. It  _ suited  _ him well. 

Maybe it was stupid, but he did feel better with it on.

He made the executive decision to buy it. After paying, he walked out to the seating area outside the store and sat down on one of the chairs, scrolling through his socials until Echo appeared in front of him, holding a slushy in one hand and waving the other in his face.

“You alive?”   
  
Rex narrowed his eyes. “No shit, Mr. Genius Man,” he said drily.

“I see you actually bought yourself something for once,” Echo said, his tone going more serious, “Good. You deserve nice things. You should appreciate yourself more.”   
  
It was touching, really. The brothers all loved each other, but any display of affection between them was rare. Rex shrugged, “I guess.”   
  
“Good.” The solemnity on Echo’s face dissipated, “Now, I must be going. Fives is planning to concoct a  _ wonderful  _ cocktail of all of the sodas in the food court. Wouldn’t miss it for anything.” he patted Rex’s shoulder and left, a terrifying look of glee on his face.

Rex sighed and rubbed his eyes, his brothers were idiots. Loveable idiots, but idiots nonetheless. They had their moments, at times, like what had just transpired between him and Echo. That was nice. Anyway, he shot Sabé a text, asking where she and Boba were before sitting off and walking away from the seating area.

* * *

Ahsoka groaned and buried her face in her hands.

That date was a bust.

Lux had spent the latter half of it on his phone, nodding to the sound of her voice. There was no way that he was actually listening— what had him so distracted? What was the point of him asking her out if he was going to be so distant? Why were guys so confusing?   
  
She shot upright, sitting up on her bed as a knock came from her door. “What?”

A muffled reply came through the door, “Snips, there’s someone here for you!”

Groaning, Ahsoka sighed, “Who?”   
  
The door opened, revealing a smiling Padmé, “Me.”

“Padmé!” Ahsoka stood up and flung her arms around the shoulders of the older woman, “It’s been too long.”

Padmé chuckled, leaning into Ahsoka’s embrace, “It’s been two weeks, Ahsoka. Still, I agree, that is entirely too long.”

“So!” Ahsoka said, holding Padmé at an arm's length at the shoulders, “How have you been? Why are you here? Why didn’t you call before?”

“A little birdie told me that you needed some relationship advice… so here I am! You know that I’ve had some experience, so I’m here to help you out.”   
  
Ahsoka groaned and flopped back onto her bed, forearm over eyes, “Anakin told you, didn’t he.”

“  _ Yup _ ,” Padmé said, popping the P and sitting down at the edge of the mattress next to Ahsoka, “So, how was your date today?”   
  
“Not good,” Ahsoka scoffed, “At first… I thought that I was actually getting somewhere with him, until I wasn’t! He just started staring at his phone and became a brick wall!”

The older woman nodded sagely, “So, you two don’t seem to mesh as well as you used to. Have you had trouble communicating with him?”

“Yeah, kind of. He’s just been so… distant,” Ahsoka said, angling her brows in confusion, “Like a switch just flipped and he wouldn’t talk to me. At first I thought that it was just because school was starting again and everything, but after today…I’m not so sure anymore.”

Padmé sighed, placed a hand over Ahsoka’s, “Talk to him.  _ Really  _ talk to him. Communication is key in a relationship— Ani and I have had plenty of disagreements and rough spots, and sometimes it has felt like we were growing apart, but we were always able to work through our issues. It’s important that you talk to him.”

Ahsoka nodded, “Thank you, Padmé. How long will you be able to stay?”   
  
“All day.”   
  
“This is great,” Ahsoka said, shooting upright, “We can finally catch up!”

* * *

Rex sighed and fell onto his bed face-down. 

He had fun.

He was tired.

He loved his brothers, and he loved being the one that they could lean on, but it was so incredibly taxing.

At this point in his life, it felt like he was just going through the motions, not really stopping or taking a break. Checking his phone, he decided that it would be a good time to go out for a run.

So run he did.

Legs, blood, and adrenaline pumping, his pulse and speed a stark contrast to the slow inflow of thoughts in his head, like water dripping from a faucet.

Running aways did clear his head.

It took all the stress and pressure out of the equation, and let him focus on himself, something he rarely had the time to do. 

He pondered school. What was he going to do after he graduated? What colleges was he planning to apply to? He knew he wanted to go to one of the elite schools, but which one? What did he want to do for a living? He had options, sure. He had good grades, and was ranked in the top 10%. He had football as his safety net, but he knew he wasn’t planning to go pro, and he wasn’t sure if he was good enough for the elite schools to offer him a spot for that, and academics was a cut-throat game.

He hadn’t even realized that his legs had carried him back to his building.

Wringing out parts of his shirt that had been drenched in sweat, he made his way to the elevator where he punched in his floor and leaned against the wall to catch his breath as it started moving. In a few quick moments, when the elevator dinged, he exited the metal box and entered the apartment, only bothering to offer a small wave to Sabé, who was sitting on the couch, reading a book.

Once he shut his bedroom door, he quickly tore off his clothes and tossed it into a hamper, not caring to pick up the stray sock that hadn’t quite hit its mark, before disappearing into the shower.    
  
Just as running cleared his head, showering muddied it. Too many things to think about.

After getting ready for bed, he sat down at his desk and retrieved his journal.

_ Been thinking about the future, today. Sabé took me and the boys out. I got a new jacket. It was fun. Boba was a little bit upset about Him, but that’s to be expected. _

_ The thing is, how many more opportunities will I have to hang out and chill like this? At first, the fact that I’m a senior now just didn’t seem real, like this first week was just a trial period and I could decide if I wanted to actually go through the entire year or not. Now that I’ve actually finished a week of it, I think it’s finally hitting me that this is real.  _

_ What if I go to college farther away and the boys won’t have anyone to look after them? I know it sounds ridiculous, there’s Sabé, but I can’t shake the weird sense of obligation I have to them.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ There’s been a lot on my mind, some things I feel like I’ve already written about in this journal way too much. That sounds stupid, I know, because I’m the only person who’s ever gonna see this, but I still feel like I’m baring my soul out, and the idea of that kind of vulnerability… scares me. _

_ I know that this is meant to be something I can use to keep track of my feelings with, but I feel like that just got way too deep. _

_ -Rex. _

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know that this seemed pretty pointless and like it was just a fluffy filler episode, but fear not! it has plot importance! it exists to set some things in the future up- but read carefully, some of the things in this chapter that don't seem super important at first will be.
> 
> destroy me in the comments- or just leave feedback in general lol q.q


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We don't get to look into Ahsoka's head that often in this fic, so here's a chapter from her perspective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck. fuck. fuck. i wrote this two weeks ago and lowkey forgot about it while editing. i feel so bad. please forgive me. real life hit me like a speeding truck and i'm stressed as HELL. thank you for coming to my tedtalk and enjoy the chapter.

The weeks had flown by, and life went on.

It was impossibly hard to be Ahsoka sometimes.

To live in the shadow of two perfect, flawless, incredibly talented brothers.

Obi-Wan had to raise both her and Anakin, starting when he was just twenty-five and his life in the real world had just begun.

And Anakin…

His glory cast long shadows.

Maybe, maybe, she would be able to live up to them, one day, but Obi-Wan was solid, the foundation of their strange little family, and Anakin seemed so on top of the world, so untouchable, like he could brave life and it’s consequences and never look back.

Could she do that?

Sometimes, she felt like paper— easy to tear, easy to crumple, airy and light and changeable. What did she have besides school and debate and track? What would happen to her once she went to university, and then into the real world? 

What did she  _ really _ have?

Her brothers were a given, but sometimes she felt like they’d never understand, because they were so  _ perfect  _ . There was a weightless effortlessness to everything they did, but everything felt hard and heavy and tiring when she lost her drive, which was becoming a more and more common thing. Sure, she had Lux, and Rex, and Kaeden, and Barriss, but…

Barriss was busy, and for all they tried, it was difficult for the two of them to get in touch. She and Kaeden didn’t talk much outside of school, like their friendship hit pause when they left campus, and sometimes only briefly resuming in the rare event that they met up or had to work together on a project. And how well did she even know Lux? They started dating first and became friends after. Sometimes he was irritating and impossible to deal with thhimem, but would turn around and be the perfect boyfriend mere moments later.

Maybe she didn’t know him as well as she thought.thought she did. After all, they had never really gotten the time to actually get to know each other and bond, instead going full balls to the wall, full speed ahead with no breaks, right into the deep end with their relationship. They paraded around the hallways, hand in hand, and everyone said they looked good together, but were they really good together?

She needed to talk to Obi-Wan.

He was sitting on a sofa, reading glasses on and scrolling through an article on his phone. Hair disheveled and clothes rumpled, he looked tired.

Maybe he wasn’t as weightless as she thought. Anyway, her problems could wait. She needed to see what Obi-Wan’s problem was.

Sitting down next to him turning herself so an arm was braced on the headboard of the sofa so she could look at him directly, “Obi-Wan?”

He turned to face her, tired eyes betraying a lack of sleep and stress, how had she not noticed before , “Yes, Ahsoka?”   
  
“Are you alright? You look like you haven’t been sleeping. Is it work? Anakin? Did I do something wrong?”

Obi-Wan smiled, a tired, tight smile, “No, no, you and Anakin didn’t do anything wrong. It’s something else on my mind.”   
  
“Care to explain?” “Well, you know Satine…”   
  
Satine. Obi-Wan’s on-again, off-again girlfriend. They’d been college sweethearts, bonding over their passion for law during law school, although it seemed like they were going steady now.

“What about her?’

“Satine suggested that we take a break and… I thought things were going well, but I… I guess not,” a look of guilt briefly flashed across his face, “I think maybe it’s my fault. I wanted to be closer to her, but I know her job is demanding and she has a life in Mandalore, but… still. We’re both beginning to leave our youths behind and you’ll be done with high school soon and I… want to settle down.”   
  
Ahsoka rested a hand on his shoulder with a sympathetic nod, “I think you two need to take some time to sort yourselves out, then you can come to a compromise.”   
  
Obi-Wan huffed a sigh, “Alright, what do you want?”   
  
Ahsoka looked up at him innocently, “Can’t I just talk to my brother?”

Obi-Wan gave her a pointed look in return.

“Okay, fine. I need some advice. Also pertaining to romance. Can you help? Please?”

Obi-Wan nodded, the barest tilt of his head. She took that as a cue to continue. “So. Lux. I’ve been thinking, and I’m really not sure if we even work as a couple. He’s been really distant lately, and I don’t know how to get through to him. Come to think of it, I barely know him and these days our only interactions are limited to me helping him study. And maybe I’m just being jealous and irrational and stupid, but he’s always with that Steela girl— and I know, I know, male-female friendship does exist, but the way she acts around him makes me think that she wants something more and I don’t think he’s disinterested. Which at this point is fair,  _ I barely know him _ , and our relationship only exists in the ‘cute good-looking couple zone’— and I don’t mean to sound conceited, but I know that’s really all we are, a good looking couple, and I know I should be sad and angry and hurt by all of this, which I am, but I’, also tired and waiting for it to end!”   
  
She took a deep breath, drawing a raised eyebrow from Obi-Wan and a mildly incredulous look.

“Are you quite finished? Now don’t me wrong, it’s always good to get something like that off your chest, but there’s quite a lot to unpack there.”

Ahsoka nodded fervently, “Yes! I’m done! And a little bit wound up. Please please  _ please  _ tell me what to do.”

The elder sibling chuckled softly, “Well,” he began, before attempting to smooth out the crease between her browns with a finger, “How do you feel when you’re with him?”

She scrunched up her nose, “What kind of question is that? He’s my boyfriend, so… good. I guess maybe it’s just easy to be around him, he’s a good conversationist. But he’s also frustrating, because I feel like  _ he  _ has the expectations for me and what kind of girlfriend I should be, and gets sorta passive-aggressive when I ignore him, but he’s the one usually ignoring him. Plus, we were never really close before dating so I feel like I don’t even know him sometimes.”   


Obi-Wan nodded sagely. “I need you to answer one question, and answer it honestly.”

“Anything.”   
  
Obi-Wan quirked an eyebrow, “Anything?”   
  
“  _ Anything  _ .”

“Do you really love Lux, or are you in love with the idea of him? It’s really starting to sound like the latter to me.”   
  
“I…” Ahsoka started, her voice then trailing off, “I don’t know.” She sat up from the couch, straightened out her shirt, before turning around, “Thank you Obi-Wan,” and walking off to her room.

She barely heard it when he called “Anytime!” as she closed the door.

A crease carved into the gap between her eyebrows, she sat down at her desk and opened her laptop, typing in  _ “do i really love him”  _ and clicking on the article that first showed up.

_ 15 Signs That You Are Totally and 100% In Love With Him _

Huh. She probably shouldn’t take that much stock from women’s mag articles on the internet, but it could be helpful.

  * _He calms you. No matter how stressed you are, his presence calms you and you can always fall back on him to unwind. He helps you center yourself on days that you feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders or when you’re just angry and want to beat up your pillow._



Sometimes? He was frustrating beyond beliefs sometimes, but he was usually fine to be around. He was great and nice and calming and a soothing presence. Sometimes. Other times she wanted to punch him in that annoyingly perfect face. If there was a higher power, she wished that it’d give her patience because if it gave her strength, then— calm. Calm. She needed to be calm.

  * _You want to know everything about him. His story, the details of whatever happens to him each day, you just want to know everything. You care about the little things, like what movies he liked as a kid, or what he had for lunch, or what his grandma gave him for his birthday. You never need to pretend to care about anything he says because you care so deeply about him, you care about what he has to do or say._



Nope.  _ Nope _ . She did not care about whatever political garbage he was spewing on the given day. She just zoned him out— she was a practiced professional and nodding and “Mhmm”-ing whenever she needed to.

  * _Time flies by when you’re with him. Even if you’re talking about something as inconsequential as your favorite condiments or shoelaces or erasers, you can’t help but lose track of time. When you’re with him, nothing else matters. Be it a walk in the park, a day at the fair, or mundane small talk, when you’re with him, you can’t even tell that time is passing and the world is moving on._



Lux could be a total drag to be around sometimes. Sometimes… he could be a bit self-centered, and she’d try her best to stay calm and tough it out until the end of their interaction, but sometimes he was just  _ such  _ a drag and impossibly boring.

  * _No matter how tired you were before, with him, you’re always energetic. You feel upbeat and ready to take whatever life throws at you. Nothing that would usually tire you out would have an effect on you if you’re doing it with him! Sometimes, work or school won’t be such a drag because you’ll get to see him afterward._



Sometimes? When their relationship had first began, there were times that she did feel like this, but as time passed, talking to him felt so... tiring. It wasn’t really him that was the problem, but it all felt so forced and she couldn’t really connect with him, and it was exhausting to try.

  * _The thought of losing him is unbearable. You don’t know how you’d carry one if he wasn’t in your life. He is so deeply and wholly woven into your soul that letting him go would be like tearing a piece of you._



She wrinkled her nose. Who the hell bases their identity and self-worth over a guy? Of course, it might hurt if they parted ways, but that was natural and she was smart enough to know that high school relationships aren’t forever, that most relationships aren’t. Better to respect yourself before jumping into a relationship if that’s gonna happen.

  * _Time spent with him is never time wasted. No matter what you’re doing, even if it’s something stupid or doesn’t work out, it’s not a waste of time. Even if it’s a five-minute phone call or a trip to the grocery store, it’ll always be the brightest part of your day. You never take your time together for granted._



Oh boy. That pitiable excuse for a “date” that they went on a few weeks ago? That was definitely a waste of time. She lost an entire afternoon to him spewing political jargon and smiling at his phone.

  * _Wherever you go, whatever you do, you’re reminded of him because you can’t stop thinking about him. Maybe you’ll see an ad with a phrase that he likes to say. Maybe you hear a song in public that really reminds you of him. Maybe you’re just letting your mind wander at work or at school and it always leads back to him._



Maybe at the beginning of the relationship, sure, but never now. Plus, she was a busy person. She just couldn’t let him live in her mind, rent-free. Hell nah. She had more important things to think about. Like school. Debate. Track. Life. Her friends. Rex. Fuck. 

She was just going to ignore that. 

  * _Whenever you receive a text message, you secretly hope that it’s from him. No matter how you’re feeling, a text from him will always cheer you up, so whenever a text is from him, your face lights up with joy, and so does your heart._



Getting texts from him did make her happy, but not  _ that  _ happy. She was just happy when people texted her at all. Not like she really had a social life.    
  
Unfortunate.

  * _You trust him. It can be hard to trust, but you’ve opened your heart to him, and your heart tells you to trust him. It’s not like you trust absolutely everything that falls out of his mouth, you know that he isn’t perfect, but you trust his judgment, and when you don’t, you respect and trust him enough to agree to disagree. You’re not scared to face anything with him, because you trust him. You trust that he’ll have your back, and you can take on anything as long as he’s there to break your fall._



After seeing the way he acted around Steela, Ahsoka wasn’t really sure if she could wholeheartedly trust Lux. She did know who was always there for her, who she could always trust.

Rex.

As soon as that thought crossed her mind, her eyes widened and she slammed her laptop shut.

She really shouldn’t take that much stock in internet articles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i finally have a public social media profile! @akeriary on instagram, please please _please_ check it out if you want to see my art or harass me about updating faster <3\. please. i need it. 
> 
> i'll hopefully have the next chapter out within the next two weeks, but who knows? i'm trying, yall.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wholesome sibling times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an update??? within a semi-reasonable timeframe? yee FUCKING haw this one's a little short oops but i've been really busy irl so... please don't murder me?

There’s a mask of careful indifference that you have to master if you’re in love with your best friend.

He can feel it slipping, a little bit, as he watches Ahsoka wrinkle her nose and worry her bottom lip, her mind obviously far away from the assignment laid out on the coffee table in front of them, because he knows her and he knows that there’s something wrong. He’s about to ask, opens his mouth to start, but he’s cut off by her beating him to the punch.

Oh.

Ahsoka isn’t the most vulnerable, and it can take some prodding to get her to open up.

Must be important.

“Rex?”

He looks up from the rubric, “Yeah?”   
  
“Have you ever been in love?”   
  
Rex chokes.  _ Oh shit _ . For a split second, the mask is gone, but he breathes in and lets it fall back into place, “No, why?”   
  
He’s lying through his teeth, but he hopes that she can’t tell.

“Oh,” Ahsoka turns away from him and puts the papers she was holding down on the table, “Well, I’ve been thinking… and I don’t know. Maybe I’m too young to be in a serious relationship.”

Rex doesn’t bother looking up from the paper, instead electing to cock an eyebrow in response, “Mhmm? And? Why now? You’ve been with Lux for almost a year now and it’s been great, right?’

“...Right. I just… I don't know. Something’s changed.”

Rex sighed, set the paper down, “Right. Well, you can think about that later. We have an assignment to finish.”

* * *

She needed to stop taking those bullshit “Do you REALLY like him?” type quizzes on the internet, and she knew that, but she didn’t feel any inclination to stop.

_ It’s not like I have a problem.  _

The quizzes were just brainrot she could use to procrastinate with. Not like she was actually having a crisis and was starting to slowly die on the inside.

_ Oh, who am I kidding? _

Sighing dramatically, she put her phone aside and opened her laptop to begin some research for an upcoming debate and oh—

Yes.

The article from the precious night.

She gulped— why, she didn’t know, since she was alone and had no reason to be anxious but she couldn’t help the feeling of doubt and trepidation crawling down her spine as she closed the tab. She had  _ no idea  _ why.

Okay, that was a lie.    
  
Sighing, she pulled her phone out of her pocket, swiping it open and opening her messages, preparing to write on to Lux—  _ “Hey, can we talk? Like, meet up and have a chat, face to face, not at school. It’s really important and I think it’s long overdue for both of us, and I think you know what I’m talking about. I’m getting tired of dancing around it, and you have to be too. Let me know when you’re available. —Ahsoka.” _

She hadn’t even realized how serious her tone was, and that she had typed it out so… formally. She squinted at the screen, carefully perusing her message, over and over again. 

Each repetition made her anxiety increase tenfold. 

No. She couldn’t back out of this. Swallowing, she steeled herself and brought her thumb to hover over the ‘send’ button, ready to bring it down—

On the delete key, as she jammed her thumb down on it and watched the letters disappear.

_ Damn. _

“Dammit!” A hand found its way into her hair, gripping at it in frustration. She ignored the pain coming from the base of her roots as she gritted her teeth, “Why is this so hard?” 

Some of her hair had come loose from the hand currently fisting it, so she blew her bangs out of her face and set her phone down, promising herself that she would bite the bullet and send that message later that evening. Exhaling heavily, she opened her notebook and got to her research.

* * *

Was Ahsoka… okay?

She’d been his best friend for years. He could tell if something was off with her.

Something had shifted in her behavior these past few days, and he wasn’t really sure why— but he could tell that there was  _ something  _ going on, something that was overloading her brain and making her slip.

It was the way there had always been a crease between her brows as they studied, how she had worried at her lower lip, sure to leave it split and dry, how her hands had been carefully folded in her lap as she bounced one left on the ball of her foot. Sure, she was usually pretty energetic, but never jittery. Hyperactivity wasn’t a trait of hers, neither was disquietude. She didn’t even get this stressed over finals.

And that question that she’d asked him…

...what the hell was that supposed to mean?

_ “Have you ever been in love?” _ Of course. With her. But he couldn’t tell her that. Still, weird question. They weren’t the kind of friends who got involved in each other’s love lives or asked intrusive questions, both of them trusted the other’s judgement enough not to. He was smart, she was smart, that intelligence extended to their decision-making skills, since neither of them really ever made emotionally charged decisions, and they knew how to keep their feelings in check.

_ “Maybe I’m too young to be in a serious relationship.”  _ Ahsoka could be reckless, but she wasn’t the type of person to get involved in things she didn’t think she could handle, and she knew herself well enough to know what she could and couldn’t. She had thought long and hard about going steady with Lux when he asked, and it took her a day to come to the conclusion that she was able to be with him. Plus, why now? Yes, it had seemed like they were drifting apart these past few weeks, but they still seemed to interact with each other on a near daily basis and it’s not like they didn’t text either.

Then again, what quantified a significant amount of texting? Rex didn’t often text people.

Still, it didn’t make sense. They were the it-couple, sure to be crowned King and Queen at every school dance, admired by everyone— not just admired, but everyone wanted to be them. Everyone wanted to have what they had. 

They were the perfect couple, weren’t they?

But… if they were falling apart, then maybe…

No. He wasn’t going to take advantage of Ahsoka’s heartbreak if that happened. If Ahsoka and Lux were to break up, he’d do his civic duty as a best friend and comfort her, tell her that Lux wasn’t good enough for her anyway, and eat ice cream whilst watching shitty movies whileswaddled in blankets on a couch with her.

It’s not like he had a chance, anyway. Better to quit while he was ahead, they had a good thing going and he didn’t want to mess with their current dynamic.

That sounded like a good idea.

What didn’t sound like a good idea was faking sick at the first football game of the season, which was coming up that Friday, but he wanted to. Of course, being that he was the captain and the MVP, he had no choice to play, and Krell would probably force him to play even if he was actually sick.    
  
That guy didn’t fuck around.

He hated football.

At least he only had one season left. One season, then he was free— unless a college wanted to recruit him for football, and it happened to be a particularly prestigious university, then he would have no choice… which is why he also cared so much about his grades. He was in the top 5% of his class, but he’d been slipping lately, which was a problem. He was banking on his academics to get himself into a prestigious university

Well, better get to studying, then.

* * *

Something was wrong with Ahsoka. 

Definitely, 100%.

As much of a clown as he could be, socially, Anakin knew how to read people. 

Especially Ahsoka. 

She was the type of person to keep their emotions on display, perhaps unintentionally, but fairly obviously if you knew her well enough.

For one, her face. It was usually pretty obvious to gauge how she felt just from looking at her expression. Second, her body language. Her shoulders had been slumped all day, like she was closing in on herself, unlike her usual straight-backed posture that exuded unshakeable confidence.

There was something wrong, and he’d be a sad excuse of a big brother if he didn’t get to the root of the problem and help her through it.

So that’s how he ended up outside the door of her room, taking a deep breath before grabbing the knob and swinging the door open, popping his head in with a saccharine smile on his face.

“Anakin! The hell? Would it kill you to knock?” Her eyes were blown wide, a crease between her brows as her mouth hung open and her earbuds fell out of her ears.

“Sorry,” he said, though his grin said that he was anything but sorry. His face went soft, “Hey, I want to talk to you,” he said, before waltzing over to her bed and sitting down, patting a spot next to him, “Come. Sit. Let’s talk.”   


The younger of the two siblings raised an eyebrow and said nothing, but followed him nonetheless. She sighed, sitting down at his side, “What do you want to talk about?”   
  
“So,” he said, deciding not to dance around the subject and get straight to the point, “I know you’re going to say that you’re fine and everything’s fine, but you’re not. I know you.” He reached out to clasp a hand on her shoulder, “You’re my little sister, and I don’t like seeing you like this, so tell me what’s wrong. Is it school? You friends? Debate?” He paused for a second, “...boy trouble?” he asked, wiggling his eyes suggestively.

Ahsoka snorted, but her shoulders slumped forward, “Yup. Last one. Right on.”

“Oh. What’s wrong?”

“So, I already talked to Obi-Wan about this—”   
  
Anakin clasped a hand over his heart in mock offense, “But not me? Oh Snips, sister dearest, you wound me.”   
  
She glared, but her snort betrayed her amusement, “Can it. Anyway, I feel like Lux and I are drifting apart but I think it might be a good thing? But also bad, because I feel a little bit— okay, very ignored and unwanted. Like, I realize now that we kinda jumped the gun when we started dating and we’ve never really bothered to actually learn anything about each other, but it’s been fine up until now, and…”   
  
Anakin nodded sagely, “I have some possibly terrible advice for you, but go on.”   
  
“I feel like I’m being really stupid and immature and paranoid for being jealous, but there’s this girl he’s been spending  _ a lot  _ of time with, like more than he did with me when we started dating, and I’m not sure if I like the way she looks at him, or— or the way that he looks at her.”   
  
Anakin sighed, “Well, I think… I think the two of you just aren’t compatible with each other. I agree, I think the two of you started dating too early— not that you’re too young, you’re way more mature than I was when I was your age and you know that, but I think the two of you just got caught up in the thrill of it all. This might sound really stupid, and you’ve probably heard this before, but just… follow your heart, I guess.”   
  
Ahsoka smiled, letting herself topple over and lean into his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, “You’re right. It was really stupid, but… helpful. Thanks, Anakin.”

The older sibling smiled, ruffling her hair with his free hand, “Anytime, Snips.”   


* * *

_ Ahsoka’s been weird, and I am being very pathetic for writing another journal entry centered around her… real simp hours, amirite? We were working together on an assignment earlier, and she was just… off. Asked and said some weird things, and I think it has something to do with Lux. Knowing them, it’s probably just a rough patch. They’re untouchable. _

_ Still… maybe… if it wasn’t just a rough patch, maybe I’d have a chance _ —  _ I feel like a terrible fucking person for even considering it because I feel like I’d be taking advantage of her, but whatever. i didn’t have a chance anyway and this is all wishful thinking. _

_ There’s also football. Krell’s pushing us to our limits. Does he want us dead before Friday? I hate this sport. I don’t want to play. Krell’s very existence is violently repulsive to me and he’s really not helping me like that cursed spor anymore. _

_ +I need to get my grades up. They’re starting to slip, a little. _

_ Signing off, Rex. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you want to say hi/scream at me to update faster, geek out with me, see my art, or just talk, you can do that on my instagram, [@akeriary](https://www.instagram.com/akeriary/)
> 
> also i’m sure y’all already know this but i’m a hoe for feedback lol


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, it's currently 1:30 am as i write this, and i currently feel like [this elevator](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQtmm_lpUKI)
> 
> i've been afk for two weeks and uh... sorry. i meant to post this chapter two days ago, but my internet is a bitch and decided that it was a great time to go out, and i was too burned out to post it yesterday. my life has been nothing but pure, tumultuous chaos for the past two weeks which i know really isn't a great excuse, but there's just been a lot going on, the only time i have to myself most days is 10 pm to 9 am, so... not a lot because a girl’s gotta sleep+i kinda yolo'd the last chapter and thew my outline out of the window so that didn't really help matters because i had to work around that lol... i was planning to have chapters get progressively longer after chapter five but i guess not lol
> 
> anyway enjoy the chapter and since i have a bit of a reprieve coming up, hopefully the next one will be up sooner :))

_ ‘Ahsoka?’  _ She mused, bracing both hands under her chin,  _ ‘More like THE master of evasive maneuvering.’ _

See, it had been three hours since she received The Text, the cherry on top of the shit cake that was her morning.

See, she woke up late, was apparently out of toothpaste, and didn’t have any clean socks— naturally, it had to be topped off with a text from Lux. Of course, she hadn’t opened it yet, but she had gleaned from the notification that he wanted to talk and it was serious, meaning it probably had to do with the absolute state of their relationship. Of course, she’d wanted to send him that text the day before, but she was a coward and it thought it wouldn’t be fair to blame her for that, because it’s easier to run away from problems than to deal with them.

Anakin had taught her well.

See, it’s not like she was scared of confrontation and the painful and probably awkward that would inevitably ensue from talking to Lux, it was just that she was a coward and tried her best to avoid uncomfortable conversations because she didn’t deal well with awkwardness and tension.

So she ran. Duh.

* * *

Rex groaned and draped himself upon the cafeteria tabletop dramatically, not caring when his face hit the surface.    
  
“I swear Krell’s trying to kill us. He had us running suicides all morning before school, I swear I’m going to feel that in my legs for days. How exactly does he expect us to play like this on Friday?”   
  
“Mn. Must suck,” Ahsoka said in a faraway voice, who seemed to find the clamor and chaos of the cafeteria oddly fascinating in this moment.

He raised an eyebrow, pulling himself up a bit to send her a dry look, “Were you even listening? Because I really feel like your zoning out. You keep staring at Lux’s table.”   
  
She waved it off, “I’ve definitely not, and yeah I was listening, football or whatever. That’s rough, buddy.”   


Rex sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that day, peeling himself off of the tabletop to sit upright, bracing an elbow on the edge of the table. “Something’s wrong. You’ve been weird lately and I think everyone’s noticed. Talk.”   
  
Ahsoka made a vaguely disgusted sound, “Do I have to?”   
  
“Yes.”   
  
“Fine,” she held up her hands in an attempt to pacify him, “I know you’re not an idiot so I think you’ve all but figured out that it has to do with Lux…” she trailed off, eyes drifting to Lux’s table as she tried to find the right words.”   
  
“Uh… continue?”

“Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, spaced out for a second. Anyway… I’m not really entirely sure as to how I should explain this but it’s been… weird. Like we’re not meshing as well as we used to and it’s always really awkward when I’m around him and there’s always this weird tension and I think he’s feeling it too, because he’s never really into our conversations. Ever.”   
  
While she had stopped talking for a few seconds, her face betrayed her— after all, she did wear her feelings on her face, plain as day. 

“Well,” he pushed, “Anything more? Because I know there is, but you don’t have to tell me, you know, if you don’t want to.”

“No, no, it’s fine. It’s just dawned on me that Lux and I… really aren’t that clse. We never actually got to know each other and I’m really starting to feel that now because… well… he feels like a estranged sometimes, I guess. I’m not sure how I can describe how it feels but there’s this weird sense of isolation… like I’m an outsider looking in on our relationship, you know?” She paused to catch her breath, “Okay, that was a lot. Sorry for dumping that on you all at once.”   
  
He shook his head, “Your good. It’s fine, I need to think about something other than football, anyway.”   
  
“Oh! Season kickoff is on Frida, and it’s a home game, right?”   
  
“Right,” he sighed, “Well, it will be if Krell doesn’t kill us before it happens.”   
  
“Hey, I’ll be there, so you better not lose!” She punched his arm playfully, and both of them could feel the conversation moving away from the heavy previous topics of discussion, so she sat back and let herself fall into the comfortable levity that came naturally with him.

_ This definitely feels more natural than hanging out with Lux… oh fuCK. _

* * *

He hated the speed ladder. So much.

What kind of sadist would even  _ think  _ about creating something like this? His legs were already burning from the morning’s drills, and now this?   
  
“Again!” Krell yelled, his voice biting and caustic, “No weakness! Don’t let  _ being tired  _ be an excuse for laziness and mediocrity!”   
  
Rex had had enough. “Sir, the boys are tired. I think a five minute water break would be good for them.”

That didn’t seem to jive well with Krell. “Was that disrespect,  _ boy  _ ? As your coach, I will not let you tell  _ me  _ what to do.”   
  
“Sir, I—”   
  
“And now you’re trying to backtalk me, which I don’t tolerate. I expect you to stay after practice to run laps.”   
  
“Sir—”   
  
“That’s final.”   
  
He could see Alexsander Kallus shaking his head, a poorly concealed smile on the latter’s face, and glared in that direction as he stalked off to get back in line for the ladders.

* * *

Why the hell did Steela keep antagonizing her?   
  
It was getting annoying. Debate practice had been going great, especially with that Caleb Dume kid being so enthusiastic and either to learn— it had been a while since she had seen another freshman so excited, she loved that kid, but as soon as they’d started doing practice debates, Steela had made a point of always being her opponent when it was her term, and Mr. Ohnaka, their teacher, hadn’t at all bothered to stop the other girl.

See, she really wouldn’t have minded the competition, Steela was a worthy opponent— her words were sharp and focused, and she knew how to spin her arguments, but it was the  _ personal  _ digs that were starting to get to her.

“If it wasn’t already clear that boarding schools are harmful for students, consider this— say, hypothetically, that you were in a relationship, and that you two were starting to drift apart, and whilst you try to make amends, your partner just drifts further away,” Steela said, narrowing her eyes at Ahsoka, “Such is the relationship between children who attend to boarding school and their parents. Too often do parents send their children to boarding school when they decide that their child is too much to handle, instead of sorting out their relationship and learning to cohabitate peacefully. Such an action will leave a mark on a child, and that wound will continue to fester, possibly stunting their emotional growth.”   
  
First off, where the hell did she get that from? Ahsoka had done her damn best to reconnect with Lux, but  _ he  _ was the one who was drifting. Second, how had she managed to make a debate about  _ boarding school  _ personal? 

“I respectfully disagree,” Ahsoka said, “Boarding school can perfectly fulfill the emotional needs of students, by surrounding them with other students, a community that can instill positive lessons in each other and learn to grow by simply being together everyday. Moreover, boarding schools instill a sense of discipline in students at an early age through a heavily regimented lifestyle, and students thrive because there are fewer distractions, such as television and video games, which are replaced by classes and work at a level of academic rigor that helps prepare students for college, which is more conducive to learning,” she paused for a second, considering her next move, “And, to address your point about the parents and how you had likened it to a romantic relationship— all relationships, whether they be platonic or romantic, are a two-way street, are they not? Is it not the student’s fault as well, for not trying to mend their relationship with their parents earlier, instead letting it deteriorate?”   


Steela glared, while Mr. Ohnaka cleared his throat. “Ladies, ladies, very good points from each side! I think Miss Tano had a more… profitable, shall we say, argument, but Miss Gerrera also had a strong case,” he looked up to check the clock, “That’s the last round we have for today, remember your homework and I will see you tomorrow.”   
  
As Ahsoka collected her things and made her way to the door, she felt a hand clasp down on her shoulder.

“Hey! What’s your problem?”   
  
It was Steela, blue eyes blazing with something Ahsoka couldn’t quite place. Perhaps her pride was wounded.

Ahsoka scoffed, “Maybe we should go find a quiet spot in the hall to talk, for more discretion,” she said, having noticed how a few heads had turned from Steela’s outburst.

“Alright, I’ll bite,” Steela said, leading her out into the hallway. Once she had decided that the two of them had put sufficient distance between themselves and the debate classroom, she began again. “What do you mean that both parties would be at fault? What kind of bullshit is that? Lux told me that you were the one being a cold bitch, and I don’t like you, so I’m inclined to agree.”   
  
“  _ Oh  _ ,” Ahsoka rolled her eyes, “This is what all of this is about? Well, maybe you shouldn’t believe everything he tells you. Anyway, it’s not your business, so I’m not going to humor you. Goodbye.” She said that last word with finality and stormed off, shading her head.  _ The audacity! _

* * *

Krell decided to be “merciful” and only had him run two laps.

At least it wasn’t timed. 800s were genuinely the worst.

He threw his head up in exhaustion, trying to get more air as his feet dragged across the track, kicking up dust and sure to leave red marks all over the soles of shoes. He usually enjoyed running, but not like this, when his body was already so tired and sore, so beaten.

Well, this sucked.

See, he was usually able to run to clear his head, because it was just him, his music, and the open road, but right now it was him, the oppressive heat (and glare) of the sun, and Krell yelling at him to  _ “pick up the pace”  _ from across the field, so he was drowning in his thoughts, most of them involved somehow choking that beefy, muscle bound motherfucker to death. (No Ahsoka. Definitely not. Nope. He was making it a point to himself to dwell on her and her… situation less.)

Eventually, he reached the end, straightening his knees and placing his hands on top of his head to catch his breath. “That was quite pathetic, Fett,” Krell ridiculed, folding his arms and looking down at him, “I expect you to be in tip-top shape for the game on Friday, and I don’t want to see anymore of…  _ that  _ . Understood?”   
  
Rex closed his eyes and sighed, “Sir, yes sir.”   
  
“Good,” Krell said, still looking down at him, “Now go home and get some rest.”

* * *

Ahsoka fell back onto her bed, a frustrated sound that was somewhere between a screech and a growl leaving her lips.

“Why are people so frustrating? And why are feelings so gross? I haaaaaaate this.”

The encounter with Steela had left her… rattled. Ahsoka was the type of person who wanted to be liked by everyone, and she had no idea why Steela seemed to hate her so much. The other girl had been giving her odd looks since day once, and she had no idea why, or what she’d done to offend Steela.

Anyway, things were about to get worse. Her phone, which was tightly clenched in her hand, buzzed insistently. She groaned and swiped it open, only to reveal a string of messages from Lux.

**Lux:** What’s wrong with you??   
  
**Lux:** Why were you so rude to steela earlier???

**Lux:** We really need to talk

_ Well, shit. _

**Ahsoka:** …

**Ahsoka:** ok.

* * *

_ Hi, hello, I’m very angry and very aggravated and just a little bittle shaken because Krell has some serious issues. Fuck him, man. What’s his problem? Did his mom not love him enough or something? _

_ Okay, that was uncalled for, but he’s demanding way too much from the team, way too much from me. He reminds way too much of Him, that dickhead I used to call a dad. _

_ Anyway, that’s really all I have for today because I presently feel like death and I think that I may legitimately die if I have to get up out of bed again today. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anywy i really don't like how this chapter came out but please leave feedback nonetheless because i'm That Bitch and need constant validation
> 
> if you want to say hi/scream at me to update faster, geek out with me, see my art, or just talk, you can do that on my instagram, [@akeriary](https://www.instagram.com/akeriary/)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> breakups and sibling times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry im so sorry im so so so srory i was going to post this two weeks ago but then my mental health took a nose dive and school started and everything is super hectic rn and im really busy and i kind of just forgot baout this fic and its two am im sorry

Ahsoka slid into the chair opposite to Lux’s at the little table he’d chosen at Maz’s.

The warm and only moderately bright, atmospheric lights at Maz’s usually felt homely and welcoming, but now, they felt ominous. While the quaint, minimalistic chairs and the small tables usually felt quaint and lovely, the cold press of metal against her back as he slid into her chair and the meager distance between her and Lux only served to make her more uncomfortable.

He barely acknowledged her when she sat down, and she didn’t mind, deciding to forgo pleasantries and cut to the chase— “You said you wanted to talk. So, lets talk.”

He raised an eyebrow, exhaled, “Very well then. This— and by this, obviously, i mean this relationship, you and I, you know, this isn’t working out. And I’m sure you know why.”   
  
She folded her arms across her chest and nodded, “Excellent. I agree. So, we’re on the same page, right? It’s because you’re being emotionally distant and we literally don’t know anything about each other, correct?” That wasn’t… entirely true, and she knew it, because it was her that had been drifting first, before she started, but at least she’d  _ tried  _ to fix things, so she let the words fall from her mouth carelessly. Of course, she still paid some mind to what she said, making sure to not be too brash, but for the most part, she had decided to let her mouth move faster than her brain, for once.   
  
“Hold on— what do you mean emotionally distant? At least I was  _ there _ . Since when have I been distant or ignoring you? You’re the one who’s always been snubbing me.” 

The nerve! Sure, she may have snubbed him at first, but she had sought to amend oversight once she realized what she had noticed that she had been doing it. She  _ tried  _ .   
  
Ahsoka made an incredulous sound and sputtered, “  _ Excuse me?  _ Everytime I try to talk to you you’re barely there! I’m the one who’s trying, not you!”    
  
It was clear that their conversation had reached a point of crisis, quickly turning into an argument— the volume of their voices was certainly turning heads and capturing the attention of other patrons. While both of them would usually have too much pride to let other people see them like this, both of their judgements were too clouded by their anger for either of them to particularly care.

Lux scoffed, “Yeah? Everytime  _ I  _ try to talk to you or hang out with you or study with you, you turn me down for your friends! All the time! Especially for  _ Rex .  _ Seriously? What’s his deal? I’m your  _ boyfriend  _ .”   
  
Ahsoka choked, unable to suppress the rage that was bubbling up inside her, now threatening to spill over— “Don’t bring him into this! Plus, what about Steela? You still haven’t mentioned her yet, when she’s been mooning over you since day one! She pulled me over in the hallway earlier to bitch at me about how terrible of a girlfriend I am. Seriously? Is there something going on between the two of you, or are you just a self-absorbed dick who doesn’t know how to keep private matters private?”

“Are you  _ seriously  _ accusing me of cheating,” Lux gnashed his teeth, “Because you can call me whatever you want, I’d  _ never  _ stoop that low.”

Ahsoka knew it was a low blow, and she knew that he would never cheat— he had principles. Still, she knew that this was the end, and, cruel as it was, she wanted to make it  _ hurt  _ .

“Fine!” Ahsoka spat, “But that doesn’t change a thing. You’re still a shitty boyfriend!”   
  
“Yeah? Well if I’m that bad, then we should break up!”   
  
“Fine!”   
  
“Fine!”

Ahsoka slammed her hand on the table and pushed herself up, leveraging said hand, and swiftly turned her back towards him and stormed off, ignoring all the observers.

* * *

Rex groaned, stretched out sore muscles, and flopped on the couch.

“Rough day?” Echo asked, not looking up from his book. 

“Mn. Krell’s got us on a fucking shakedown.”   
  
“Ah,” Echo replied, eyes flicking up in acknowledgement, “Must suck. Game day soon, right?”

“Mn. In two days,” Rex raised an eyebrow, “You coming?”   
  
“I’ll think about it. So, we haven't been talking much lately. Sorry. Junior year is hard. How’s school been going?” the younger of the two asked, closing his book with a reposeful flick of his wrist and setting it on the coffee table carefully. Rex’s eyes briefly flickered towards the elegant movements of his brother’s hands— that was Echo, after all, all welcoming grace and composure, a sharp contrast to Fives’ wildness and his own distant restraint.

He had always admired the twins, after all. Echo for his ability to always keep his perfect composure, how neatly he was able to organize his feelings and his tasks and how he never seemed to be under pressure, no matter what the circumstances. Fives for how he was able to let go, to be able to live in the moment, never worrying about anything more than the present moment.

“School’s…. school,” Rex sighed, sitting upright and clasping his hands, “Senior year is… see, it’s not that bad when it comes to the workload, but I just… can’t stop thinking about my future. And Krell is putting more pressure on us than Vos ever did.”   
  
Echo nodded sagely, “I see. And that pressure is why you’ve been bouncing your leg incessantly for the past two minutes?” He nodded his head pointedly at Rex’s leg.   
  
Rex blinked “Oh. Didn’t even notice that I was doing that. Sorry.”   
  
“Didn’t think so. Point is, I think you need to calm down. You said it yourself, it’s your senior year. High school will be over soon enough and you’ll never need to play again, so just… go with the flow, you know? Krell can’t really do anything. From what I’ve heard of him, I’m not even sure that he even knows what the team’s peak performance capabilities are because all he’s been doing is pushing you all to the brink with drills. So just… don’t take it too seriously, right? The team is already good enough to win even if you decide to check out.”

Rex smiled, “You’re so wise, and you’re younger than me,” he said, a bitter edge to his, but the mirth in his eyes betrayed his amusement— “Thanks, little bro,” he said, reaching over to muffle the younger one’s hair.   
  
Echo scrunched his nose and made a sound of protest, “I’m only thirteen months younger than you!”

* * *

Ahsoka was  _ pissed  _ . A little bit hurt, too, but mostly anger— anger was safe. Anger served as a shield, protecting herself and the people around her from how she really felt.

More importantly, anger was familiar.

She had never had anger issues, of course, and it was never very intense, but she had frequently experienced anger, of varying degrees.

Anger at the world, or leaving her an orphan— not once, but twice.

Angry at her brothers, as unfair as it was to them, for how perfect they were.

And now, angry at herself because Lux hadn’t been entirely wrong.

As much as she tried to tell herself otherwise, it  _ was  _ , at least in part, her fault that they had fallen apart.

See, he was right— she had spent the past few months a little bit distant, letting herself think that their bond was strong enough for them to be apart often— more than often, nearly all the time. Didn’t change the fact that he was an ass, but she couldn’t just blame it on him. That would make her a hypocrite.

Moreover, she was mad at how… immature both of them had been, and how she hadn’t been able to get the last word in. She wasn’t naive enough to delude herself into believing that they would last forever and always be happy, but she had hoped that when the time came, they could separate with at least  _ some  _ degree of dignity, and if they didn’t, that she would get the last word.

She was, after all, very competitive. It was simply in her nature.

As she entered the apartment, she made a sound that was somewhere between a growl and a scream, stalked to her room, and slammed the door.

Dropping her backpack on the floor next to her desk, she flung herself onto her bed, grabbed her pillow and shoved her face into it, and  _ screamed  _ .

And screamed.

And screamed.

Eventually, when her voice had gone raw and she had calmed down, she heard a knock at her door. Growning, she stood up and rushed to go open her door, revealing both of her brothers, with faces of mild horror and concern.

“So… what’s up, Snips?”

* * *

Rex’s head throbbed.

He sighed, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment before opening them again— the stress was really getting to him, huh? Maybe Echo was right, he should relax.

Or he would relax, when he finished studying. It was going slowly. It was only 5:32 PM, so he had plenty of time, but he had suddenly found a second wind, seemingly brought on by his desire to just… relax. He picked up his pen again, and began writing with a fury, eyes flickering between his journal and the screen of his laptop, momentarily stopping to scroll down.

He tapped on his phone twice, turning on the screen— 5:50 PM

He could finish this before 6:20. He  _ would  _ finish this before 6:20.

He picked up his pen again, not minding the friction between the paper and the side of his hand as he once again began to write like a man possessed, thoughts hurtling through his head at a speed that was barely subluminal, not minding how his hand cramped or how his handwriting hand begun to deteriorate with the last paragraph.

He checked his phone again. 6:13.   
  
He threw his head back, let out an uncharacteristic whoop of joy, and let his pen fall to his desk with a satisfying  _ thunk  _ .

He set his phone on Do Not Disturb, pushed himself out of his chair, stumbled to his bed, and he did something he hadn’t done in years.

He took a damn nap.

* * *

The three siblings were sitting together on the couch, Obi-Wan and Anakin effectively sandwiching Ahsoka, both having slung an arm around her, not letting her escape.

“So…”   
  
“So…”   
  
“So.”   
  
“Your first breakup is always going to be hard,” Obi-Wan offered, “But that’s okay, you’re young… inexperienced… point is, you’ll have plenty of other chances. Don’t be so glum about it.”   
  
Anakin nodded in assent, “What Obi-Wan said. You have time. You’ll realize that your little high school relationships aren’t the be-all end-all.”   
  
Ahsoka scoffed, “I know that. I’m not an idiot. It’s not like I’m sad, or anything, I’m just mad that I didn’t win. I  _ always  _ win! It’s not fair.” She moved to stand up, uncrossing her arms and rolling her eyes.   
  
“Ahsoka,” Obi-Wan said softly, placing a hand on her forearm to lead her back to sitting down, “It’s not about winning.  _ Life  _ isn’t about winning, and neither is a breakup. A breakup is... in a way… it’s complete surrender, kind of in the same way that the beginning of a relationship is. It’s giving up and letting go, because there’s nothing left to say, to do, there’s really not much that can fix it. I think you are upset, and that you’re just hiding behind your anger.”   
  
“No I’m not—”

“Yes, you are,” Anakin said, cutting her off mid sentence, “Believe me, I’d understand better than anyone. You know how I was, when I was younger, how I always hid behind my anger, and I can see that in you, sometimes, too. It’s because you think it’s safer, you think it’s easier, right? You can just blame the people around you, and you don’t have to confront how you actually feel. I understand. Just… let us in.”   
  
Ahsoka raised an eyebrow, “No.”   
  
Obi-Wan sighed, “I get it, you don’t want to talk about it… but you’ll have to eventually. You can’t just keep it close to your chest like this. It’s better for you to get it all out now, than have to confront it later.”   
  
“Obi-Wan’s right, you know,” Anakin said, “I know you just want to lie to yourself right now, but it’s not healthy. What’s on your mind? Did you do something that you regret? Do you wish things could’ve gone differently? Do you just… feel bad about how things ended? Because from what you’ve told us, it sounded intense.”   
  
Ahsoka sighed. “Fine. I guess. Kind of? I mean… I feel like it was my fault, at least partly, because as much as I try to tell myself that it was all his fault, that he was the one being distant, cold, whatever, I know that I was distant first, and that it’s my fault that we started drifting apart in the first place. I was just so angry that I wasn’t able to salvage things, but now… I just realize that it’s my fault that things were unsalvageable in the first place. After all, I did let it get to that point.”   
  
Her brothers nodded, “That’s a start,” Anakin said.

“Very good,” Obi-Wan praised, “See, this is why it’s important for you to talk about such things now. It’s important that you don’t let these feelings fester, into deeper hurt and resentment.”   
  
“Thanks, guys,” Ahsoka said, mustering a smile as she once again tried to stand up, “I’d better get going. I have some homework to do.”   
  
This time, it was Anakin who stopped her, “Hold on a minute, Snips. There’s more. I know there’s more. You’ve got  _ that  _ look in your eyes.”   
  
“Fine!” she spat, “You want to hear all of it? Then I’ll tell you. When we were arguing, I threw a few low blows, because I wanted it to hurt,” she said, drawing a juddering breath, “Be… because I wanted him to hurt like he hurt me. And I know, I know, it’s stupid,” she paused for a second as she sniffled, as unbidden tears had started welling up in her eyes, “Because he didn’t even know but… the way he pushed me away, the way he seemed to care about literally everyone else…”   
  
Her brothers looked at her expectantly while she paused, letting a few tears track down her cheeks. Her brothers were wise enough to not hurt her pride by wiping it away, and she appreciated that.   
  
“I just feel like I wasn’t enough,” she sniffled, “And I  _ hate _ that.” She slumped over, letting her head fall into Obi-Wan’s lap.

“It’s okay, Snips, you’re enough. To us, you’re enough, and we’re your family. That’s all that matters,” Anakin said.

Obi-Wan nodded in agreement, stroking Ahsoka’s hair, “When you’re finished with your homework, how about some ice cream and a movie?”   


* * *

_ Hi again, I guess. I don’t have much to say today. Today sucked at first, and my legs are so sore from football, but Echo is… surprisingly wise. He told me to relax, and I did just that, and took a nap. Best damn sleep of my life. _

_ -Rex _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you want to say hi/scream at me to update faster, geek out with me, see my art, or just talk, you can do that on my instagram, [@akeriary](https://www.instagram.com/akeriary/)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it'e been nearly three weeks but i'm not going to apologize because i've had a test/quiz, sometimes multiple tests/quizzes, everyday for the past two weeks, and my academics are my number one priority-- i also happen to be a very good student, thank you very much. i will, however, apologize for not replying to any comments-- haven't had the time to be on this cursed site i'm sorryyyyyyyyyyyy ;-; please forgive me
> 
> anyway-- this chapter is a little shorter than usual bc it's the first ~half of a longer chapter that i decided to split into two to fit into the general pacing of the story better-- also i got lazy while editing lol. the second half should be up in a few days methinks

Ahsoka woke up with a headache of epic proportions.

Peeking out of the sheets, blinking as the light filtering through her curtains but her face, she groaned and reached over to her nightstand, making a blind grab at her phone in an attempt to silence her alarm. Her eyelids fluttered as her eyes adjusted to the light— they were puffy and a tad sensitive from crying so much the night before. Was this what a hangover felt like?

She didn’t really remember anything from before falling asleep, didn’t even know when she fell asleep— she vaguely recalled being swaddled in blankets and eating ice cream straight from the container, so she assumed that her brothers must’ve moved her to her bed. Sighing. she swiped her phone open and turned off the alarm before ambling out of bed and to her closet. She ran a hand through her hair and threw on some sweats, before lazily putting her hair up— she couldn’t be bothered with her appearance, not today. She grabbed her backpack and shifted it on her shoulders before heading out of her room, making a beeline for the exit.

“Ahsoka!” Anakin called from the couch— he was still home apparently, “Lemme give you a ride!”   
  
The sound of her name being called was lost in the sound of the door all but slamming shut behind her. She slowed down her pace and got into the elevator— Anakin wouldn’t bother to follow her, and would (correctly) assume that she’d go take the bus.

A bus that she would miss if she didn’t  _ run _ . Her backpack bounced on her shoulders as she rounded the corner around her apartment building to her stop, not caring that her hair was coming apart in her face. She stopped, with a huff, once she arrived, drawing curious glances from her fellow students. She could see the bus coming— just in time. She let herself relax, her shoulders sagging and a strap of her backpack sliding off her shoulder.

As the bus screeched to a halt, she blew her hair out of her face and got in, dragging her feet down the central aisle. She slid into one of the seats in the back, lying her backpack down as a pillow, and sprawled out on top of it. Sighing, she pulled out her earbuds and shoved them in her ears, shutting her eyes and letting herself get lost in her music.

She could already tell it was going to be an emotionally taxing day— hell, it already was, so she comforted herself by focusing on the tremor of the bus as it moved, though it could be uncomfortable when there was a bump in the road and the wall rattled and jostled her. Still, it let her mind drift elsewhere.

* * *

Rex’s senses were in overdrive. His eyes, keen, watching the ball move. He felt the crunch of the artificial turf beneath his feet, heard the calls from his teammates, heard his own voice as he called out for the ball— he never really processed it, it was almost a second nature to him. 

Oh, well. As much as he’d tried to tell himself that he’d take a more laid back approach to football this year, he always had been the type of person to go all in no matter what. Plus, if this was his last season playing football… might as well go out with a bang. It couldn’t be that bad. Then again… if not football, then what was he going to do? How easy it would be to disappear, to become a faceless nobody working some dead end job with no one to keep him company.

Eventually, Krell’s voice tore him out of his thoughts— the man had barked for them to come huddle where he was at the field in his commanding baritone. He was extra unsettling today, the unnatural sharpness of his eyes were only amplified by the strange half-sneer that played at his lips, an unnerving quality to them that Rex couldn’t quite place.

“Game day is tomorrow,” the coach ground out, “Was that an acceptable scrimmage?”   
  
There was a general air of unease permeating the field, with the boys trading nervous glances and shifting their weight, until Alexsandr Kallus decided to bite the bullet and answer for them. Typical. He was obviously gunning for captain, waiting to swoop in as soon Rex’s stint was over. Well, good for him. At this point, Rex couldn’t care less.

“Yessir, I think it was quite a good—”   
  
“You  _ think? _ ”   
  
“No, no sir—”   
  
As much as Rex disliked Kallus, he couldn’t help but feel bad for the guy— Krell was terrifying, and the poor man looked absolutely  _ gutted _ because his attempt at kissing ass had backfired. Perhaps for most teachers or coaches that wouldn’t have been an issue at all, maybe a one or a two on a scale of on-to-ten, but with Krell? That was an eleven.

“This team’s performance today has been nothing short of disappointing,” Krell said, folding his arms and leveling a glare at the team, specifically at Rex, “I don’t want you  _ imbeciles  _ to embarrass me or the school tomorrow. Am I clear?”

A brief pause, and then a  _ “Yessir!”  _ from the collective team.

“Good,” Krell bit out, “Now I want two cooldown laps. Go!”

The team headed off, Rex shaking his head and sighing before turning to follow, only to be stopped by Krell— “Wait, captain, a word.”   
  
“Yes, sir?”   
  
“I see now why the previous coach and the entire school seems to sing your praises. Your performance today was satisfactory. I would like to see that again on the field tomorrow,” Krell gestured to the track, “Now, what are you doing? Go!”   
  
As Rex’s legs started moving, entirely on their own volition, he couldn’t help the look of absolute bewilderment that crossed his face—  _ did Krell just compliment him? _

* * *

Well, Ahsoka’s day was going absolutely terribly, and it was only what, first period?

Oh yeah. First period. Definitely. That was definitely Profesor Yularen’s stuffy-ass voice. Her cheek braced against her hand she let her head slump against her hand a little bit more as her hair fell in front of her face.    
  
She felt like there was syrup flowing through her veins, as that would be the only explanation she could come up with for how… utterly exhausted she was, emotionally and physically— she was barely able to keep her eyes open for the lecture. Still, she wasn’t really sure if it really mattered. She promised herself that senior year would be a relatively relaxing year, because there was no point in stressing anymore.

“Ahsoka Tano? Do you perhaps know the answer to the question on the board?” Yularen asked, an eyebrow raised, “Since you seem to be listening with such rapt attention, you must know.”   


Quiet snickers erupted in the back of the class, and Ahsoka sluggishly turned her head to face them, tossing an unimpressive glare at the kids sitting at the back.

She sighed for what felt like the sixty-ninth time that day, squinted at the board for a few moments, and opened her mouth to speak, “The yields of the different corn types are not independent from each other…?”   
  
That answer seemed to satisfy Yularen, who simply nodded his assent and started talking again.

Meanwhile, Kaeden, who was sitting next to her leaned over, “Are you okay?”   
  
Ahsoka blinked, surprised— it took a second for her to register the question, “Yes? No? Maybe? I don’t really know,” she murmured, “I’ll tell you and the gang at lunch, alright?”   
  
Since she seemed to be in the clear— Yularen didn’t make a habit of calling on the same student more than once per class period, she took the time as an opportunity to really think, since trying to get sleep in during school probably wasn’t a good idea. 

She knew the relationship wasn’t going to last forever, she always would— after all, they were just young, dumb high schoolers. She knew that her youth would always be characterized by impermanence, as everyone’s would. It was, after all, a time of rapid development and great change. Still, she had hoped it would last until she graduated— she didn’t want to let go of the familiarity of high school and the past three, soon to be four years of her life until she absolutely had to.

But then again… nothing was permanent, especially not now. It was stupid to assume that things wouldn’t change, that she and all the people around her wouldn’t stop getting over. The world would keep spinning and life would go on. People would move on.    
  
Maybe it was a good thing that the relationship had ended. As discarded and unwanted as she had felt, the whole experience had been a wake up call— she needed to start looking to the future more, and to not take things for granted— yeah. That seemed like a good lesson to take away from the whole ordeal.

* * *

“What’s up, guys?” Rex asked as he slid into a seat at their lunch table, “How’s it hanging?”   
  
Ahsoka groaned, “Please never say that again, I’m begging you. That was the worst thing I’ve ever heard.”   
  
Kaeden nodded assent. Trace, who was apparently a very sociable person if you really got to know her wasn’t present, off at some tutoring or study hall session.

Rex raised an eyebrow, “Snippier than usual, I see. What’s up with you? You look—”   
  
“—like shit,” Ahsoka finished for him, “Yeah, you don’t really need to say it. I know. I’m just… very, very tired, ya feel?”

“She’s been like this all day,” Kaeden said, “First period, and second period too— I’m surprised that you didn’t notice during Macro.”   
  
He shrugged, “Sorry. Lots of things on my mind. Anyway, ‘Soka,” he said, nudging her with his shoulder, “Spill.”   
  
Ahsoka groaned yet again, tugging her hood over her head and letting herself spill forward onto the table, not minding how the hard, flat surface pressed against her front or how the edge of the table dug into her abdomen, “Luxbrokeupwithme,” she said, “And I don’t know how to feel about it. I’m just… confused.”   


Kaeden winced, “Oh, shit, sorry. See, this is why being single and never having been in a relationship is great! You won’t need to deal with breakups or any other emotionally messy situations.” Meanwhile, Rex froze. A million things ran through his mind when he heard that, some of which may have had to do with him and Ahsoka, but he pushed those thoughts aside. “Alright…” he started, “How are you feeling? What’s on your mind?”   
  
Ahsoka sat upright again, using her hands to push herself upright, “Well, sad. Mad. Relieved, I think. I’m sad, obviously, because it lasted a long time and I don’t think I was ready for it to end and I did care about him, and because I felt like maybe it was my fault, mad that he got the last word in and not me, and relieved because I don’t need to pretend with him anymore.”

“... Do you want to talk about it?” Rex said cautiously, not really sure of what to say. There were so many things he could say, but he was scared that they would be insensitive or selfish or just… stupid. Coupled with the fact that he’d be lying if he said that he wasn’t relieved to receive this news.

Ahsoka waved him off, “I don’t think I’ve fully processed it yet,” she said, “I’ll probably hit you back after school or something. Anyway… up for a game of Evil Apples?” she asked the other two at the table.

The other two quickly nodded assent, and they all pulled out their phones and commenced a game, and the previous conversation was replaced with playful jabs and jokes that definitely weren’t school-appropriate, but who really cared?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> iM nOt LiKe OtHeR gIrlS, iM sTuPiD
> 
> come yellat me on my instagram @akeriary because i post art there and i spend a lot of time there bc it's a great way for me to avoid my responsibilities-- if you want to yell at me to update faster, be friends, just talk, or lurk and judge my art with the utmost disgust in your eyes it's a very fun place i regularly simp for or wax rhapsodic about star wars character (mostly thrawn and eli vanto tho whoops) on my story i also spend a lot of time being the dumb atla/lok fangril i have been since elemtnary/middle school and simping for the pretty chinese men and women who have been living in my head rent free for the past few months mdzs is a Very Cool franchise yall should check it out anyway im just rambling lol
> 
> wow that was a very shameless self promo bit lol sorry its 2:40 am for me and i dont think my decision making skills are very sound right now, i'll reply to comments later when i have time anlnlieanlngaoenteoneanr bye i hope you enjoyed this chapter <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stress  
> second half of the last chapter, as promised

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops "a few days" turned into a week-- forgive me for forgetting to edit this half of the chapter im just a dumb assclown who's bogged down with school and can't handle stress

The day went on.

Ahsoka found herself sitting at her desk in her third period class— having a block schedule was quite nice, twirling a few strands of hair around a finger. She shifted in her chair, which was ever-so-slightly unbalanced— the legs would never quite lie evenly on the ground, and she drummed the fingers of her other hand against her desk, watching as the rest of her classmates filtered into the class.

With it, they brought the smells of lunch with them, kids who were still eating snacks or had drinks, and the sounds of camaraderie. Usually, she’d be among them— one of the most active members in fact, sociable as she was. Unfortunately, today was not one of those days. She was far too drained, both emotionally and physically to deal with more human interaction than absolutely necessary.

Her third period wasn’t a class she was particularly invested in, so she zoned out… until she realized who sat a few tables down from him. Saw Gerrera, one of Lux’s new friends and Steela’s brother, was giving her a mean side eye. Frankly, she didn’t quite know what to make of that so she simply ignored him and looked to the front of the class, tuning out the sounds of the classroom just as the chatter quieted down and the teacher moved to begin her lesson.

She didn’t even notice when she had been called on, until the teacher called her again. Twice. She shot upright abruptly, her back ramrod straight, her hands shooting out from where they were folded under her chin and onto her desk, knocking her mechanical pencil to the floor and making herself even more conspicuous than she already was when it fell to the floor with a loud clatter. All too aware of the eyes on her she simply leaned down and grabbed it gingerly, ass if it were made of hot coals, careful not to meet Saw Gerrera’s eyes, which she could feel burning into her.

“I’m sorry, could you repeat the question?

* * *

So. Ahsoka and Lux broke up.

That was an unexpected turn of events yet at the same time… not.  
  
They were the picture perfect couple, but those who knew them, either half of them, would at least know, in brief summation, what was going on behind the scenes. Rex had heard from Ahsoka what had occured with Steela, _“the audacity,”_ and it seemed like it had been a long time coming. He didn’t know what prompted the tensions between the two in the beginning of the end, but he knew that nothing really had to, they never were particularly close. Regardless, as bold of a face she put on, he knew that Ahsoka would need some time to process her emotions and would need his support. Fair enough. And, as hard as it may be for him, he needed to try to be a good, supportive friend.

Still, where did that leave him? As far as Rex knew, he was _firmly_ in the friend zone, where he had been for far too long to be preferable, but what good would moping do? After all, if he kept feeling sorry for himself and pining like a damn fool, he didn’t know if he would be able to still be friends with Ahsoka and he didn’t think he’d be very happy with such a situation. 

_‘Stop,’_ He thought to himself, _‘This isn’t the time for you to feel sorry for himself.’_ After all, who was he to wallow in self pity when his best friend had just broken up with the guy she’d been with for a year? Despite all of that, it was difficult for him not to. Sighing, he picked up his pencil when his teacher sent a pointed glare in his direction and started writing.

It’s not like his classes weren’t interesting, he loved to learn for the most part, but at the present moment, he couldn’t be bothered with caring. He simply went through the motions— come to think of it, that’s what he’d been doing all year. He was so tired, so jaded. He just kept himself going with the knowledge that high school was almost over and he’d be off to college soon, free from what was expected from him as a star football player and free from the, quite frankly, disgustingly competitive school that his father’s name and money had gotten him into.

Sighing, he resigned himself to mindlessly taking notes. After all, he just needed to get them done. The rest of the school year and he was out. 

* * *

And so, the passing period bell rang, heralding the end of what was potentially the most awkward and nerve-racking third period that ever was, Ahsoka breathed a sigh of relief. Unfortunately, Saw Gerrera was already up and out of his chair, making his way to her, and she stood up abruptly, slamming her palms onto her desk and grabbing her backpack, quickly shoveling her items in. She tossed another look over her shoulder, watching him approach, and she turned tail and bolted out of the classroom. Keeping her head down, she walked through the hallways to make her way to her fourth and final period of the day, debate— they had their own class period to go along with their practices.

She paid no mind to the droves of students who waved at her or greeted her otherwise, returning some with brief nods and receiving inquisitive looks in return. She’d always been known for being warm and sociable, trying to be kind to everyone, including those who were considered to be on the fringes of the high school social scene.

Oh, well. As popular as she was, she wasn’t quite on the same level as Lux, who was Mr. Popular. She had no doubt that there would be all kinds of rumors swirling around the school around her about what transpired between them, but what did it matter? She was out of this hellhole after the school year ended, and she didn’t need to bother with saving face anymore. Her position as the debate team captain had already been secured and she didn’t need to worry anything but school and college.

As saddening and anxiety-inducing as the idea of this chapter in her life ending soon was, and despite the fact that she had made so many happy memories in this school to pair with the stress and tension headaches, she would feel so much freer when she out. Truth be told, she already felt freer, _lighter_ , now that her relationship with Lux had ended, but that didn’t negate the dull, aching sadness that was starting to seep its way back into her, flowing through her bloodstream to every part of her body and her soul.

What’s done is done, she supposed. Not like it mattered anymore.

Shoving those thoughts aside, she had reached the smaller branch of the electives hallway and was about to round the corner to the debate classroom, weaving her way through the dissipating crowd of people when she was finally able to enter the room of her destination. She was one of the first there, as per usual.

“Welcome, welcome Miss Tano!” Ohnaka greeted, “I trust you have prepared your notes?”  
  
Ahsoka smiled to herself. Mr. Ohanaka was certainly… a character, that was for sure, but the strange, grandstanding way with which he spoke had always been something that brought a smile to her face. Debate was her escape, always had been. She needn’t think about anything else in this moment.

“Of course!”

* * *

After school football practice was mercifully light, just running a few drills and jogging a few laps. Short, too, it seemed that Krell actually did have enough sense to know that he couldn’t wear them down too much if he wanted them in peak performance shape for the game the next day.

And so, they sat in a circle at the center of the field, Rex going through the motions of leading the team through stretches and cool down activities while Krell watched, arms crossed and eyes keen. It seemed, as Rex moved on from a plank to a deltoid stretch, that Krell wasn’t in a horribly pissy mood for once. Little blessings.

It wasn’t much longer before practice was over, and he was able to pack up his stuff in the locker room, say his goodbyes to the team, and leave the school campus at his own pace, given how practice had ended an hour earlier than usual, giving him time to be alone with his thoughts as he made his way home. He took the chance to reflect on the happenings of the day, as he usually would when given the opportunity to be pensive. Usually, he would take the time to pick himself apart, find out what he could’ve done better during the day, but for once, he allowed himself to be content. After all, it wouldn’t matter for much longer.

Instead, he directed his thoughts elsewhere. To what his plans for the future were, what he would study, where he would go, what he’d make of himself and his hopes and dreams.

Come to think of it, he had no idea what they were. He knew it was perfectly fine to not have everything figured out, and yet, he couldn’t help but feel as if there was something wrong with him for feeling like this. When he was younger, he thought he’d become a professional football player. Obviously, that wasn’t going to happen anymore.

He’d always had an aptitude for the more technical subjects, but he didn’t know if he wanted to do something math or science related. Come to think of it, his life was pretty directionless— it’s not like he had any real passions or hobbies that he’d chosen for himself. It seemed that everything had been preordained for him— he was always told that he _had_ to be a perfect student, never getting into any trouble and always doing well in school, that he _had_ to be a perfect football player, that he had to be a perfect being. Not human. Not anything or anyone with an identity.

As horrible as it sounded, maybe being free of his father was good for him. Maybe he could figure out who he was.

Rex sighed, shook his head. That was enough heavy contemplation for one day. Instead he focused his mind elsewhere.

* * *

As much as she loved debate, Ahsoka was burned out. Extremely. She just wanted the day to be over, to go home, to flop on the couch or her bed and do absolutely nothing. (Good thing she had next to nothing for homework.) The idea of lying in bed and playing games on her phone for hours sounded pretty appealing.

As fun as Mr. Ohnaka was, she was becoming.. annoyed with him. Maybe it was just the events of the past day finally catching up to her, but she couldn’t wait to just leave. To make matters worse, the underclassmen were swarming her, asking questions and generally not leaving her alone. She cared about them and she loved that they were so passionate and working so hard, but she was tired and wished that she wasn’t the captain so she could just brush them off. Unfortunately, it was her job to set a good example.

So she just smiled and beared it, dutifully doing research and taking notes and answering the questions of her teammates, carefully weaving her words and spinning her arguments for the mock debates. After all, she was good. Her mind was a weapon to be wielded, her words were sharp and spun beautifully well-constructed arguments, ones that could not be refuted.

She could see why her brothers were lawyers, why they loved it so much. It was exhilarating. She still wasn’t totally sure of what she wanted to do in the future, but practicing law was on a shortlist. Unfortunately, she was not enjoying her current situation, and it showed— Steela had snidely said that Ahsoka was “off her game” and wasn’t at all wrong. She was still good, but it was obvious that something was off.

Mercifully, practice came to an end. Ohanaka wrapped it up with some closing statement and the meeting was adjourned. Unfortunately, the ending of the meeting heralded another… confrontation with Steela.

“Looks like Little Miss Perfect is a little off her game,” Steela said, with no absence of pleasure in her voice, “Come on. You almost let that kid beat you. What, not coping well after your breakup? I don’t see why you’re so upset, it was all your fault anyway.”  
  
Ahsoka sighed, “Don’t. Not right now. Just… don’t.”

Steela raised an eyebrow, “Or what? Scared that I’m right, and you're just in denial? Oh, and don’t think I never noticed the way you looked at me, all shifty-like. Scared that I’m… _competition?_ ”

Ahsoka rolled her eyes, “Believe me,” she sighed, “You’re not a threat to me, in any sense of the word.” With that, she swiftly turned tail, adjusting the straps of her backpack and flipping her hair over her shoulder, which was down for once.

She took the bus home, putting in her earbuds and listening to music, closing her eyes and tapping her foot to the beats. The ride was longer than usual, as traffic wasn’t too forgiving that day. She did get home eventually, and when she did, she hadn’t expected her brothers to immediately direct her to Rex’s place, Obi-Wan forcibly removing her backpack from her shoulders, allowing Anakin to place his hands on her shoulders and steer her to Rex’s door.

Sabé let her in, greeted her— _“Hi, Ahsoka!”_ and ushered her in, offering Anakin a quick thank you and shutting the door..

  
She led Ahsoka to the couch, where Rex, Kaeden, and the twins were seated, “Surprise! Rex mentioned that you and Lux broke up and that you might need a pick me up, so we put this together for you and I ordered pizza— I know that’s one of your comfort foods.”  
  
Ahsoka cracked a smile, a real, genuine smile, “Thanks, guys,” looking pleasantly surprised when Rex handed her the remote of a gaming console.

“Remember that video game we played when we were kids, _Galaxy Wars: Battlefront_ ? I figured we’d play some, for old time’s sake,” Rex said with a small smile as he started up the game. Fives whooped and yelled something like _“Let’s fucking go!”_ , eliciting a laugh from Kaeden, an elbow from Echo, and a _“LANGUAGE!”_ from Sabé.

This was nice.

* * *

_Hi, I guess. So, Ahsoka and Lux broke up. Good riddance, honestly. Maybe I’ll work up the courage to shoot my shot someday soon. That aside, I’ve really been thinking about myself and what I’m going to do in the future. I’ve realized that I don’t really have my own identity, I’m just who other people wanted me to be. No more of that. It’s senior year, I’m going to set off into the world soon, and I’m going to find myself, my passions, and my hopes and dreams. And I’ve made the executive decision to stop worrying so much about school, because fuck that shit and fuck this school with its toxic, competitive mentality that you are just your grades. Fuck that._

_-Rex_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i relate to their stress about going to a high competitive school on a spiritual level,, i take classes that are advanced fo my grade-level/age in a top-ranked and highly competitive school district (i might dox myself if i reveal too much just know that people are absolutely ruthless and are not above causing severe harm to their perceived academic competitors to move up in rankings) and wow it really fucked me up so if you want your children to have inferiority complexes and traumatize them at an early age this is the way to go
> 
> n e way catch me at @akeriary if you want to be friends, yell at me, simp w me, or just like idk man see my art 
> 
> love y'all hope you guys enjoyed this chapter <3
> 
> ALSO: should i just post longer chapters instead of dividing them up? i’ve wanted to for a while but i just feel like it’d ruin the pacing and flow of the entire fic lmao


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh it's been a month i'm so sorry!
> 
> i've been really busy lately-- school, tennis, band, art, just life in general. my mental health hasn't been stellar either and i've been too tired to write and i keep forgetting-- writing and reading fanfic is just a hobby that tends to sit on the back burner when i get really busy orz please forgive me it's 2:23 am rn i'm trying m best!! hopefully the next chapter will be out within a reasonable time frame but i’m not 100% sure-- life getting in the way aside, i have some other writing projects currently in development (going very slowly... binge watching haikyuu is the enemy of productivity)
> 
> ALSO!! don't be alarmed by my username change lol it's just that ship hate is a very big thing on social media and it's very scary so i don't want people to find my ao3 from my art instagram or twitter-- i have rebranded and am now indigoshuoyues! (shuoyue is chinese for new moon so do what you will with that information i guess)
> 
> comments are my literal lifeblood please comment

Man, Rex had forgotten how much game days sucked.

He enjoyed the camaraderie of it all… but that was it. Seriously, the atmosphere with the boys was great, but there was so much macho posturing, Rex swore he could  _ smell  _ the testosterone, and that was most definitely Not It. Moreover, wearing dress attire on game day? Not very fun. His dress shoes had no arch support and wee rubbing at the back of his heel, and his slacks were tight around his knees. All in all, not a great experience?   
  
Oh, and the absolutely  _ sickening  _ enthusiasm. All of his teachers and classmates were buzzing about it, and for what?  _ Why  _ was football so popular, anyway? Ugh. Whatever. They didn’t have practice that morning, so that was nice-- Krell had decided to give them a break so they didn’t tire themselves out before the game. The one day they didn’t have an absolutely grueling morning practice was game day, go figure. Class hadn’t even started yet (his bus tended to be early) and there was palpable excitement in the air… seriously? 

Ahsoka clapped him on the shoulder as she rose to depart from the cafeteria, which the bus loop fed into. “I’m gonna head to the debate room to talk to Ohnaka, have fun dealing with your fans, Rexter!”   
  
Rex sighed and shook his head, crossing his arm under his chest and resting his other elbow on it, letting his face fall into his hand. “One, they’re  _ not  _ my fans. Two,  _ I hate them.  _ “

Snorting, Ahsoka let her hand fall from Rex’s shoulder and ran off. Watching her disappear, Rex brought his hand up to where her hand had rested on his shoulder-- still able to feel her heat there, a tingling sensation remained, one that he figured was psychosomatic, but whatever. He closed his eyes and sighed. He’d probably do that a lot today. He was about to cross the cafeteria to settle into a couch at a table at the far end, when someone slapped him on the back. Hard.

“Well, Fett, are you ready for the game? It’ll be a big event. I’ve even heard that there will be college recruiters coming to see you. Better not mess up,” Kallus, the person who had slapped him, said drily. As deadpan as his tone was, Rex knew that there was a hidden glee behind that voice-- that little dick  _ wanted  _ to throw him up so he’d mess up. Why? Rex had no idea. He wasn’t any competition for Kallus anyway-- he’d be gone after this season, and that’d open all the gates for himself that the junior could possibly want.

Rex shrugged, “Don’t care. Doesn’t matter.” He shifted his weight between his legs, allowing a strap of his backpack to sag ever-so-slightly, “I don’t know what crawled up your ass and died, but you’re probably Krell’s top pick for captain once I leave.”

He offered a half-hearted wave and left.

* * *

“Morning, Mr. Ohnaka! Anything you need help with this morning?”   
  
A sharp contrast from the day before, Ahsoka wore a genial smile and a relaxed, open expression on her face. Even if she didn’t feel great, she figured that she could look great. Fake it till you make it, right?

“Oh, nothing much. Unless, you would like to help me grade some papers?” Ohnaka said, gesticulating wild and preemptively moving to grab a stack of papers from his desk.

Well, she had thirty minutes to kill. “Of course!” Taking a small stack of papers that was handed to her, Ahsoka sat down at her usual seat in the classroom and pulled out her pencil bag, fishing for a red pen. Humming and drumming the fingers of her left hand on the desk as she marked up the papers with her right hand, she let her mind wander to the events of the evening before. Grading these papers, after all, was simply just busywork, so she figured it wouldn’t hurt.

It was a nice night. It’d been a while since she’d allowed herself to relax like that, with bonus points with her favorite game, one that she hadn’t played in months. Honestly, bless Rex’s soul. She loved him so much, she didn’t know what she’d do without him. Having a best friend who you’ve known since childhood and who knows you like their back of the hand, she decides, is an absolutely immaculate experience. Honestly, she loved all of her friends so much.

She should really call Barriss. 

Putting that thought aside, she brushed some hair out of her eyes and picked up the pace, as her wrist had gone slack.

“Are you okay? I noticed yesterday that you were all… gloomy, sighing a lot as well. You’re doing it again. Tell me, Tano, what is wrong?”   
  
“Huh?” Ahsoka nearly fell out of her chair, not expecting that question. She wasn’t surprised, per se-- Mr. Ohnaka was much more observant than people thought. Most of the school thought of him as some goofy, fun-loving teacher with strange turns of phrase, which wasn’t… entirely false. Still, he had a keen eye (and ear) and she appreciated that. Collecting herself, she inhaled and sat up straight, “Oh, nothing,” she said, trying to inject mirth into her tone, “Just going through the stages of grief, you know. Denialdenial, anger, prophase, telophase-- wait-- you get the point!” She blinked a few times, “Anyway. Yes. Grief. Loss.”

“And, pray tell, what are you experiencing grief over? Perhaps a less than perfect grade? One of your brothers gave you toothpaste-filled sandwich cookies again? Both?”

Ahsoka tried to muffle her snort, but she couldn’t. “No, no,” she said, “Wouldn’t you like to know?” She tilted her head and sing-songed that in a teasing manner, knowing full well that the only reason she could get away with that was because she was Ohnaka’s favorite.    
  
Ohnaka clutched at his chest, “Oh, Tano, you wound me so!” Putting his hands in the air in mock-defeat, “So be it, then. Remain mysterious. I understand.”

Ahsoka smiled, “Thank you, Mr. Ohnaka.

* * *

Man, he hated it here. As soon as he stepped into his first class of the day, his teacher had fixed with A Look.

“YEAHHH, FETT, YOU’RE GOING TO WIN TONIGHT, RIGHT? I’LL BE UP THERE IN THE STANDS!”

Football culture sucked. Going into his fourth year of high school football, that was a cold hard fact. Man, he missed middle school. No one gave a shit back then.

Sighing, he resigned himself to a long and painful class as he sat down, only to be clapped on the back by the guy who sat next to him, who let out a “ _ Yeahhhh boiiii!”  _ before sitting down.

There was still a fair amount of time before class started so he pulled out his phone from his backpack, swiping it open and opening his messages, before firing one off at Ahsoka.

**Rex:** I hate it here

**Ahsoka:** life is but a simulation and we are simply at the mercy of our alien overlords… </3 i can demand that the sky papis throw hands with me if you want >:D

**Rex:** What

**Ahsoka:** just say the word and i’ll fight god

Rex groaned, feeling the familiar warmth of a blush creeping up his neck and spreading up his face, grinding the heel of his palms into his face. He knew that it probably didn’t mean anything, but he was too far gone. Try as he might to deny it, it was the truth and had been for… a while.

Whatever. His wrists had since gone slack, so he lifted his phone up again to type up a response.

**Rex:** I don’t know how I’m supposed to respond to that in any way besides thank you so thank you

**Rex:** But seriously everyone is looking at me because football

**Ahsoka:** imagine playing football… kidding but damn that’s rough lol :< idk just ignore and remember that i’ll be in the stands cheering you on tonight

Rex groaned, burying his face in his hands. Between the already, overwhelming immense pressure of people’s expectations and this, he didn’t think he’d survive the game. Oh well. At least he’d die knowing that the object of his affections for… pretty much all of high school would be there. As close as they were, Ahsoka usually didn’t attend his games. She didn’t usually have the time. Senior year sure was interesting.

**Ahsoka:** probably idk if i’ll have time

Oh well. At least there was some chance of her being there.

**Ahsoka:** okay gtg class is starting and the teach just gave me A Look orz

**Rex:** Lol okay

He slipped his phone back into his backpack, letting a small smile creep onto his face. He was glad that he and Ahsoka were able to fall back into their usual rhythm. It was nice, familiar. Everything he needed to get his head in the game for tonight.

The teacher cleared his throat and Rex snapped to attention, eyes focused on the board while his mind was elsewhere. Maybe the game wouldn’t be so bad.

* * *

Ahsoka smiled, setting her phone down. Letting her cheek rest on a half-formed fist, she lazily drew circles on the surface of her desk with her other hand. She was still tired and all bent out of shape, but she felt… lighter, somehow. Like if she had Rex (or any of her friends, probably) she’d be fine and able to take on the world. 

Not an unappealing thought. She wasn’t lying when she sent rose texts to Rex-- she kind of was in the mood to pick fights with authority figures. Or really anyone. Not that she was angry (okay, maybe she was, just a little tiny bit), but she was just… fired up. 

Okay, she was lying to herself about not being angry, because he’ll yeah she was angry. After all, she was still well within the socially acceptable grieving period for a breakup, so she’d allow herself to wallow in self-pity and direct some possibly unjustified rage at Lux. Man, fuck that guy. His only talents were being rich and pretty, anyway.

See, she hadn’t been lying when she told Ohnaka that she was going through the stages of grief! She was still well within the socially acceptable mourning period for a recently broken relationship, so it was allllllll good. Plus, it was only day two. It’s not like it had been a month or something.

Still, she had thought that she’d be “strong” enough or whatever to skip this whole mourning process, with all the strange, conflicting feelings it brought along. Maybe that was just the teenage arrogance talking. Obi-Wan had always said that she’d been quite… confident, to put it tactfully. A trait she’d gotten from Anakin, who was a terrible influence, he had said. Not like he was much better. 

Man, she loved her brothers. She sat at her desk, tapping her heel on the ground as she sat with her chin braces between her hands, not really paying attention to the front of her classroom as she let her mind wander. Many people would be surprised to find out that she wasn’t quite so focused on her schoolwork. Whatever. It was senior year, and soon, nothing was going to matter anymore. 

A sobering thought, actually. While Coruscant had good schools that she was looking at and she was confident she could get into her top picks, that didn’t change the fact that almost everything was going to change. Maybe she’d still be able to hang out with her friends, but things would be… different. She’d have to attend lectures, and it might be harder to keep up, and they’d be full of unfamiliar people. She was popular enough at school, she knew most of the people in her classes, but college would be a whole other beast, one she wasn’t sure she’d be able to tame.

College would bring change. Change like new friend groups, different classes, different people, different activities. She wasn’t sure if she could even make it into some of the college activities she wanted to. College would bring more sleepless nights, reliance on caffeine, and… romance?

Both of her brothers had met their girlfriends in college. 

Ahsoka sighed, shook her head.  _ You need to get your head out of the gutter.  _ It had only been two days, way too early for another relationship, and she didn’t exactly believe in rebounds. She’d heard that they were messy, moved too fast, and didn’t last very long. At least that’s what she’d heard from Kaeden.

Still, it was… a potential prospect to look into. She’d always done everything right. Perfect grades, perfect debater, perfect athlete, and she’d been in what seemed like the perfect relationship. Maybe it was time to go against the grain, do something unwise and a little rebellious.

Now that was a thought.

* * *

Rex stretched, feeling the familiar tug in his triceps as he went through the motions. They were going through their pregame stretches, having just finished a warmup lap.

“High knees!” He yelled, standing up at the yard line, waiting for the rest of the team to follow. Krell looked on with his arms crossed, face arranged in his typical expression of acute disapproval. Rex knew that the team would need to give it their all tonight, Krell wouldn’t be kind (or at least his version of kind) if they didn’t leave it all out on the field. 

After the entire team had lined up, he yelled “Go!” and took off, doing high knees to the thirty yard line and back to where they started. His blood was pumping, his muscles were adequately loose, and he had gotten a good night’s sleep. He was in top performance shape for the game, so he wasn’t worried about his own performance, but he certainly was worried about the team.

He didn’t want to find out what kind of nasty Krell would get if they lost. Especially if they lost badly.

Rex knew who their opponent was, Republic Preparatory, and Rex had played them multiple times. He wasn’t sure about their current lineup, but they were strong. They would definitely present a challenge— he knew some of the guys. Bly, their captain? That man was intense, a formidable leader and player. He held the team together incredibly well and raised their overall standard.

Tonight would be an experience.

About an hour later, they were all lined up and ready to go. He could vaguely hear the sound of an announcer calling the teams out, 

and then it was time to enter the field.

His body moved on sheer instinct, muscle memory apparent as he lurched forward, tearing through the flaps of the inflatable archway as the crows cheered and the band played.

Kickoff was upon them.

* * *

They were halfway between the second quarter, now.

Republic had taken the first quarter, and as it currently stood, the two teams were neck and neck, but Ahsoka had the feeling that they would take the second quarter.

Ahsoka and Riyo, one of the girls from her debate team, sat in the stands, watching the game with rapt attention. The weren't particularly close, but they were friends, and Ahsoka didn’t want to come alone. Kaeden and Trace were both busy.

“You friend,” Riyo said, her voice lilting in that soft accent of hers, “The quarterback. He’s quite something, isn’t he?”

Ahsoka smiled, proud of her best friend, “Yeah. He really is.”

“You know, I’m surprised that you asked me to come with you?”

Ahsoka raised an eyebrow, “How so?”

Riyo shrugged, “You’re quite popular, you know. You seem to have a lot of friends. At least, you talk to a lot of people and you’re quite friendly with many of them.”

Ahsoka’s smile took on a sadder form, “I know, it seems that way. I don’t… I don’t actually have that many close friends though. In all honestly, it’s just Rex and Kaeden.” She shrugged, voice taking on a more chipper quality, “But I guess this is a good time to get to know you better! I mean, we are friends, but we’re not super close.”

The other girl smiled, “That’s true. How are you and Lux doing?”

Ahsoka froze. “I… don’t know how many people actually know this but… we broke up, few days ago.” She saw how Riyo’s expression immediately changed and held her hands up, “No, no, it’s okay! You didn’t know! What about you? Like… how have you been doing?”

They talk for a little while, eyes still fixed on the game. The quarter nears its end, and Rex and the boys are starting to advance— they’re three points ahead now, and Rex has the ball, he’s running— towards the other team’s end zone, there’s only three seconds left, and—

touchdown.

Ahsoka jumps out of her seat, whooping and hollering with barely contained joy, and Riyo claps enthusiastically from where she’s seated. The stands are going wild, the spectators in a frenzy. Ahsoka doesn’t know much about football, but she knows that was a beautiful touchdown. She turns her head to look at the end of the court, where there’s a screen offering closer, more focused angles of the plays. Rex has his fists in the air. She can’t really make out his expression, but he looks proud. She’s proud, too, her heart swelling her chest. Her cheeks flush and she can't help but smile, and _oh no I know this feeling oh no--_

That’s when Ahsoka Tano decides that she is going to make a very regrettable decision, and very soon.

* * *

They’re in the last quarter. They’ve already won two, and it’s a tight race to seal the last one. Republic Prep is good.

Rex furrows his brow, sweat bearing on his face as he stares at the ball with intense focus. He watched as the ball moves between his teammates, as ir comes closer and closer to him—

as the ball comes to him. He makes his break, runninf down the field. He’s going to make it, he’s going to make it—

he’s intercepted.

He’s  _ failed.  _ He hasn’t messed up once this game, he was on fire. Apparently not, because every harsh word, every blow from his father comes back to him as he squeezes his eyes shut.

_ “Failure,” Jango had said, eyes looking down at him, “Don’t bother talking to me until you can get passed defense without being intercepted.” _

_ He was eight years old. _

He opens his eyes again, shakes his head.

There’s still time for another play, and he won't let his father win. He won't let that son of a bitch win, because he's stronger, he's better, he is good enough--

So, the minutes pass, the ball comes to him once again, he’s running down to the end zone—

and this time he makes it.

It’s a touchdown, and only seconds before the end of the game, and they won! He can’t stop himself from grinning like a madman, from ripping off his helmet and screaming for joy because,  _ they won, goddammit! _

It feels unreal, adrenaline coursing through his veins and blood roaring in his ear as they shake hands with the other team, huffing out tired “Good game”s and sinking down into squats and putting their hands on their knees to catch their breaths.

Someone calls his name, and he sees Ahsoka, sprinting down the field towards him. The other players are all surrounded by friends and family already— he’s the odd one out. He opens his arms for her as she comes barreling into him for an all-consuming hug— “You did so great out there! I’m so proud of your!”

He smiles, “Thanks, ‘Soka. I’m glad you’re excited, but I’m a little gross right now—“

He’s cut off because Ahsoka has smashed her lips onto his.

Ahsoka Tano is kissing him, and he’s sure that people are staring, but he can’t really tell because he feels like his brain has just melted and fallen out of his ears.

_ What the fuck? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is it normal for high school football stadiums to have individual seats and big screens so you can see the plays closeup because my school does idk i can't remember jackshit from marching season last year and whether or not most schools have them lol
> 
> is it obvious that i know nothing about football? i'm just spitballing here
> 
> hi! i have a [twitter](https://twitter.com/akeriary) where i scream a lot and sometimes post art and an [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/akeriary/?hl=en) which is exclusively art-- please drop by either of them if you'd like to say hello!


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